Welcome to the New Age
by DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: An asteroid hits the U.S., and brings a deadly new virus with it. In a world devoid of civilization, Alex and Olivia still have each other. "I'm waking up to ash and dust. I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust. I'm breathing in the chemicals. I'm breaking in, shaping up, checking out on the prison bus. This is it – the apocalypse."
1. Prologue

Title: Welcome to the New Age

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Rating: T

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, a light-up Pillow Pet, and a laptop I got for my birthday.

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* * *

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire,

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I know enough of hate,

To say that for destruction, ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-"Fire and Ice" – Robert Frost

* * *

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On October 19, 2001, an asteroid hit the central United States, bringing with it a virus unknown to mankind and a shockwave so powerful, it leveled entire cities from coast to coast. Within six days of the impact, ninety percent of the cities in the United States were in ruins and the remaining ten percent were structurally unsound and without power.

Underground bunkers up and down the East and West coasts were filled to capacity. Tempers were flaring, children were crying, people were dying. The Virus ran rampant in the bunkers. The few who survived were left with not only the physical scars, but the psychological ones as well.

In the first week, the Virus had been classified as a Smallpox-type illness. The mortality rate was estimated as close to eighty percent, but without electricity or a way to communicate with one another, there was no way to know for sure.

The symptoms of the Virus were severe: headaches, body aches, high fever, vomiting, mouth sores and blisters that spread the Virus into the throat. Then there were the rashes.

The rashes started out as flat, red sores that turned into red bumps in a matter of hours. The bumps would then turn into fluid-filled blisters, and then pustules (small, inflamed, pus-filled, blister-like lesions). By the fourth day, the pustules would scab over and fall off…if an infected person was lucky enough to survive until then.

Compared to Smallpox, the Virus was fast moving. A normal person could go from healthy to dead in less than four days. Death was slow and painful and typically caused by swelling in the brain, infections in the lesions, and suffocation from pustules in the throat. However, about thirty percent of those infected died from dehydration, kidney failure, and heart failure caused by the high fever. Those who survived were mutilated beyond recognition from the scars caused by the pustules scabbing over.

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* * *

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_Interior – Underground Bunker, Manhattan, New York City – Night - Day 15_

Dressed in torn jeans and ratty sweatshirts and covered in blood, dirt, and the grime of the city, Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson collapse onto the ground of the bunker, the cold from the cement wall seeping through their flimsy sweatshirt.

"Not one single one," Alex says, resting her head against the wall behind her.

"We've had days like this before, Alex," Olivia says, wrapping her arm around the other woman's shoulders.

Alex quickly blinks back tears. "It was an elementary school, Liv."

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

"Where are we searching tomorrow?"

Olivia shrugs and looks at the map on the wall directly across from her. "We finished our area today."

"Now what?" Olivia is quiet, too quiet for Alex's liking. "Liv, what do we do?"

Olivia looks at Alex grimly. "We wait."

"Wait? Wait for what? Wait to die?" Alex shrugs Olivia's arm off of her shoulders and stands up. There isn't enough room in the small bunker for her to pace as much as she'd like, but she tries anyway. "We can't just sit here and wait to die, Liv. We can't."

"There's nothing else for us to do, Alex. You saw the city. There's nothing left."

"We can travel."

"To where?"

"I don't know," Alex yells. "We can't just sit here and die."

Olivia stands up and gathers Alex in her arms. "Then we won't," she whispers, pressing a kiss to Alex's temple. "We'll travel. Maybe we can find Elliot and his family. We'll pack up camp tomorrow and we'll go."

"Are you sure?"

Olivia nods. She's not sure, but she will be for Alex.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 1

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 1

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: Two things before we head into the story: (1) Your reviews and encouragement are so awesome. They make me have some sort of complex and give me a big ego and make me strut around my house like a peacock or something. So thank you for that. And (2) I don't actually watch The Walking Dead (because zombies, that's why) or Revolution. So any similarities are actually an accident.

Author's Note 3: This story will closely follow Cormac McCarthy's "The Road". Some parts may be eerily similar. I don't own the rights to that book, but I highly recommend it.

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* * *

Chapter One

_Interior – Cabin, Harrison State Forest, Ohio – Morning, Day 42_

When she wakes in the cabin in the dark and the cold of the night, she reaches out to touch the woman sleeping beside her. Her hand rises and falls with each precious breath. She pushes away the blankets and carefully climbs out of bed. She quietly walks toward the window and pushes aside the sheet they hung up the morning they arrived at the cabin. She looks toward the east for any light. There is none. She nods.

The chair across from the bed is rickety and the cushion is falling apart. Olivia sighs as she settles herself into in. She closes her eyes and lets her mind wander back to the day of the impact.

* * *

_Interior – Olivia's Apartment – Morning, Day of Impact_

Alex's laugh is carefree and wonderful and Olivia can't think of a sound she likes more than that laugh. The sounds makes her look up from the newspaper in front of her in time to see Alex dumping the contents of the frying pan into the trashcan.

"What did you do?" Olivia asks, standing to wrap her arms around the blonde.

Alex leans back into her detective's embrace. "It was a bad egg."

Olivia chuckles, her breath tickling Alex's ear. "A bad egg, huh?" Alex nods. "You burnt it, didn't you?"

"It's not that bad."

Olivia steps away to look at the egg in the trashcan and before Alex has a chance to miss the warmth of her body, she's back. "Not that bad, Alex? It looks like you threw it into a fire."

"Don't be so dramatic, Liv."

Before Olivia has a chance to respond, there's a deep rumbling sound and the apartment starts to shake. The power flickers a few times before shutting off completely and car alarms blare from the street.

Olivia pushes Alex to the ground and directs her to stay underneath the kitchen table. When the shaking subsides, Olivia stands up on unsteady legs to survey the damage.

The apartment seems to be fine, apart from a few broken trinkets that fell off of shelves. However, when she looks out the window, she has to gasp. "Alex," she says, "you have to see this."

* * *

Alex's light snoring fills the cabin and pulls Olivia out of her thoughts. She stands up, stretching out her back, reveling in the cracking, and peeks out the window again.

Spotting the first gray light of day, she grabs her knapsack and leaves Alex sleeping, and inspects the area immediately surrounding the cabin, gun in hand the entire time. When she's sure it's clear, she makes her way down to the road and studies the path to the south. Barren, silent, godless. She glances at her watch, thankful the battery hasn't dies yet. 6:47 am. The wind blows and it's cold and crisp and Olivia knows there's no way they'll survive the impending winter unless they move south.

As soon as it's light enough, she pulls the binoculars from her bag and studies more of the surrounding area. In the valley below, charcoal-covered trees litter the landscape and ash floats through the wind. Adjusting the binoculars, Olivia zooms in on a pile of bodies, all burnt and very much dead. She gasps and fights the urge to vomit by reminding herself that she'd seen much worse as a New York City Detective. She spits into the dead grass by her feet and wipes her mouth with her wrist and looks out at the valley again. Then she just sits there and watches the gray daylight congeal over the land. At this moment, she knows only that she has to keep the woman sleeping in the cabin safe.

When she gets back to the cabin, Alex is still asleep. Olivia pulls the extra blankets off the bed, folds them, and places them into the cart in the corner of the cabin. She walks back to the bed with their breakfast – mugs half-full of cold soup. She places the mugs on the bedside table, sits on the edge of the bed, looks down at the sleeping woman, and frowns. Alex's shirt had risen throughout the night to reveal the small, pockmark scars dotting her back and shoulders.

* * *

_Interior – House, Ellwood City, Pennsylvania – Early Morning, Day 33_

The dead lay scattered over the land, like victims of a bombing. Olivia does her best to keep Alex from looking at them, but even infected, Alex is stubborn as all hell.

"Don't leave me like them," Alex says, looking out the window. Her voice is quiet and strained and Olivia knows that it the Virus has spread to Alex's throat and it won't be long before she suffocates.

"You're not going to die," Olivia says from the kitchen. She opens a cabinet door and is relieved to find a number of pill bottles. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, beta blockers, and pain killers – one by one, Olivia takes the bottles out of the cabinet and sets them on the counter. Finally, she comes to the bottle she needs.

"What are those?" Alex asks, walking up behind her.

"You should be resting," Olivia responds.

"I'll rest when I'm dead."

Olivia frowns and hands Alex one of the pills from the bottle. "You're not going to die."

"What's this?"

"Antibiotics."

* * *

Alex turns in the bed and looks up at Olivia. "Hi, Liv," she says.

Olivia smiles. "I'm right here."

"I know."

An hour later, they are on the road. Olivia pushes the cart, and both women carry knapsacks. In the knapsacks are essential things – one blanket, five meals, extra water, medications – in case they have to abandon the cart and make a run for it. Clamped to the handle of the cart is an old motorcycle mirror Olivia uses to watch the road behind them.

Alex shifts her pack higher onto her shoulder and looks out at the wasted country. Below them, in the valley with the bodies, is a river – motionless and gray. Along the shore, a number of dead forest creatures. _The Virus must've gotten them too, _Alex thinks.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asks, taking Alex's hand in her own. Alex nods. She is now.

Making it down into the valley, the cross the river by an old concrete bridge, and a few miles on, they come across a roadside gas station. They stand in the road and study it.

"I think we should check it out," Olivia says. "Take a look." Alex nods.

They push through overgrown weeds that fall around them and cross the broken asphalt to the tank for the pumps. The cap is gone and Olivia drops to her elbows to smell the pipe, but the odor of gas is only a rumor, faint and stale. She stands and looks over the building. The pumps standing with their hoses oddly still in place. The windows intact. The service bay is open and Olivia goes in.

A standing metal toolbox against one wall. A diagnostic computer against the other. Olivia and Alex search through the shelves and drawers, but there is nothing there that they can use. Good half-inch drive sockets. A ratchet. They stand looking around the garage. A metal barrel full of trash. They walk into the adjoining office. Dust everywhere. A metal desk in the corner. A counter. A cashregister. Around the front of the counter is a stockpile of stale gum. Alex loads some of it into her knapsack. Olivia crosses the stained linoleum to the desk and stands there. Then she picks up the phone and dials a number she's so familiar with. She waits, desperately hoping for a miracle to make the phone ring.

"It's not going to work," Alex says, coming up behind Olivia and wrapping her arms around her.

Olivia sets down the phone and leans back into the embrace. "I know," she says. "How are you feeling?"

Alex rolls her shoulders. "Sore."

"We can rest."

"We've been resting for a week."

"Another day won't hurt."

"We need to find Elliot and his family."

Two hours later, they make it to the far side of the valley, where the road passes through a stark black burn covering the land. Charred and limbless trunks of trees stretch around them on every side. Ash moves over the land in the slow wind.

"A forest fire?" Alex asks.

Olivia shrugs. "Could've been set purposely."

"To cover the bodies?"

"You saw them?"

Alex nods. "I've seen worse, Liv." Olivia's silent. Alex takes her hand. "I'm not a child."

Olivia gives Alex's hand a squeeze. "I have to protect you. I promised I would."

Alex leans over and kisses Olivia's cheek. "I love you."

"Love you more."

Olivia looks into the distance. In a clearing not too far away is a burned house and, beyond that, a barren meadow. Farther along are billboards advertising motels and restaurants and theme parks. Looking at the sign, Olivia feels, for just a second, that everything is normal, that everything is okay.

Olivia's stomach rumbles and Alex stifles a chuckle. "Hungry?" she asks.

"No," Olivia answers seriously.

"Liv."

"Alex, I'm fine. We don't have enough food for me to eat every time my stomach rumbles."

"Have you been skipping meals?"

"What? No!"

"Olivia Benson," Alex says menacingly.

Olivia sighs in defeat. "You were sick."

"You can't skip meals for me," Alex says. "I need you to live." She slides her knapsack off her shoulder and rummages through it. Finding a pack of gum, she takes a piece out and hands it to Olivia. "Eat this. It'll help."

"Alex-"

"Eat it."

With a stern look from Alex, Olivia takes the gum. "Happy?" she asks. Alex nods.

As they approach the house, Alex gets a strange feeling in the back of her mind. "What's wrong?" Olivia asks, noticing Alex's changed demeanor.

"I think…I think we're being watched."

Olivia doesn't take things like this lightly. The last time she had…well, it'd been disastrous. She reaches for the holster on her hip and pulls out her gun. Directing Alex and their cart to an embankment on the side of the road, she whispers, "Wait here."

"Where are you going?" Alex asks, grabbing Olivia's wrist.

"I'm just going to check the house. I'll be right back. Is your gun in your bag?" Alex nods. "Good. Take it out and keep it in your lap."

"Why?" Alex asks, taking the gun out of its holster in her knapsack.

"Just in case."

Alex pulls Olivia to her and presses her lips to Olivia's. "Just in case," she whispers.

Olivia nods. "I'll be right back."

Less than ten minutes later, Alex hears two gunshots from inside the house.

* * *

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A cliffhanger! Until next time...


	3. Chapter 2

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 2

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

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* * *

Chapter 2

_Exterior – House, Somewhere in Ohio – Afternoon – Day 42_

Alex is running before she can process what she's doing, the only comprehensible thought in her mind telling her to get to Olivia, make sure Olivia is alive. She hears her name, but the blood pounding in her ears is overpowering. And it's only after she's tackled to the ground with someone's hand clamped over her mouth that she realizes she's been screaming.

"Shut up," the other person whispers fiercely. "Alex, you really need to shut up."

Alex finally stops screaming and gives her eyes times to focus on the face less than two inches away from hers. It's gaunt and covered in blood and dirt, but those eyes…she'd recognize those eyes anywhere. "Elliot?" she whispers against his hand. He removes his hand and she breathes a sigh of relief. "Elliot." Her relief quickly turns to fear deep enough to make her blood feel like ice. "Olivia. Where's Olivia?"

Standing up, Elliot extends his hand to Alex and pulls her to her feet. "Where's your stuff?" he asks.

Alex spins around, looking for the embankment Olivia left her at. "There," she says, pointing to an area thirty feet away. Elliot follows her to it, keeping his hand on her shoulder the entire time in an effort to keep her calm.

"We'll bring it in the house," he says. Handing her the knapsacks while he pushes the cart.

"Where's Olivia?" Alex asks again. "I heard gunshots."

"Liv's in the house."

"I heard gunshots."

"C'mon," Elliot says, leading Alex into the house. He leaves the cart in the corner of the kitchen and Alex places the knapsacks in it, safely tucking her gun into her bag.

"Elliot, please."

"She's upstairs, Alex."

Alex follows Elliot up the stairs and towards a room at the back of the house. As soon as he steps in the room, Olivia yells, "You bastard," and throws a case at him. It misses drastically and shatters against the wall.

"Sorry," Olivia says, but not to Elliot.

Alex enters the room and Kathy has to physically hold Olivia down on the mattress by her shoulders to keep her from jumping up and running to Alex.

"What happened to you?" Alex asks, rushing to Olivia's side and kneeling down next to her.

"He shot me," Olivia yells, glaring accusingly at Elliot.

Alex's eyes glide over Olivia's body and stop at the cloth wrapped around her thigh. "What? How?" She turns to Elliot for an explanation and it takes all of her self-restraint not to get up and kill him.

"It was an accident," Elliot says, putting his hands up in defense.

"An accident?" Alex yells.

"The door was shut. There's a hole near the middle so I can see the hallway. I couldn't see her face, but I saw her gun. So I shot her."

"What if she dies?"

"She's not going to die," Kathy interjects.

Alex turns to her. "Are you sure?" Kathy nods. Turning back, Kathy fixes Elliot with an icy glare.

Olivia puts her hand on Alex's leg in an attempt to reassure her and help her relax. "It's okay, Al," she says. "I'm alright." Alex looks down at Olivia and her gaze softens minutely, but Olivia can still see the doubt in her eyes. "Do you want to see it?" Alex shakes her head fervently, but Olivia proceeds to untie the cloth and pull it away gently.

The wound is small and already closed with stitches. Blood is coating the stitches and the area immediately surrounding the wound, but all–in–all, it is much better than expected. Alex breathes a sigh of relief. "The bullet?" she asks.

Kathy holds up a sandwich bag with the bullet in it. "It was through and through." Alex nods. "She's going to be fine, Alex."

Olivia flashes Alex a crooked smile. "You heard the doc, Al. I'm going to be fine."

Kathy chuckles. "I'm a nurse, Olivia."

"You're the closest thing to a doctor we've seen in forty-three days, Kathy," Olivia says. "You're the doctor."

A comfortable silence settles over the four and for the first time in over a month, Olivia feels safe.

"Did you two make it out unscathed?" Elliot finally asks, still standing on the opposite side of the room.

Olivia and Alex look at each other in silent understanding.

_He wants to know how close we came to dying_, Alex's eyes say.

_I know,_ Olivia's eyes respond.

Olivia shrugs. "Relatively," she says, looking at Alex.

"You got it, didn't you, Alex?" Kathy asks. "The Virus."

Alex nods and lifts up the back of her shirt to show Kathy the scars decorating her back and shoulders. "We were lucky," she says, lowering her shirt. "On Day Two of the Virus, we came across a house in the woods that hadn't been ransacked. Liv found some antibiotics that seemed to work."

"We were there for three more days before Alex was able to keep going," Olivia continues. "We left that house on Day Thirty–Six and came across a cabin in the woods on Day Thirty–Seven. We left there this morning."

"Why'd you leave?" Elliot asks.

"It wasn't safe," Olivia says. "Last night, some people were killed. We couldn't risk it."

"Our plan was to find you guys," Alex says.

"How?" Elliot asks.

* * *

_Interior – Special Victims Unit, Manhattan, New York City – Morning – Day 3_

Olivia walks into the squadroom to see Elliot's death cluttered with piled boxes of ammunition and Elliot himself standing with his back to her, packing a military–style backpack.

"Going somewhere?" she asks. Elliot grunts and nods toward her stations. On her desk sit two smaller knapsacks similar to Elliot's backpack.

"Pack up, Benson," he says, pushing several boxes of ammo onto her desk.

"What are you talking about, Elliot?"

"Haven't you been listening to the radio?"

"It works?"

Elliot nods and flicks on the radio on his desk. "In other news," the newscaster says. "The estimated death toll of the Virus wiping out the Midwest after this week's asteroid impact has reached a staggering thirty million. Experts say the Virus will continue to spread, eventually infecting the entire United States and, quite possibly, the world. All flights in and out of the country have been grounded for the foreseeable future."

Elliot turns off the radio and looks at Olivia, who looks like she's going to be sick. "Alright, Liv?"

Olivia nods and swallows the lump in her throat. "Where are we going?"

* * *

"You said you were going north," Olivia says.

Kathy nods. "To my family. That's where we left the kids."

"And you came back?" Alex asks.

"To find you guys," Elliot says. "You said you were going south."

"We went to Boston," Olivia says, resting her hand on Alex's and giving it a light squeeze. "Alex's parents didn't make it."

"We found them," Alex says, fighting back tears, "in their bed. The Virus had killed them. The house had been broken into and robbed. Pictures were the only things left."

"That was Day Twenty," Olivia says, taking over so Alex can regain her composure. "We spent that night in Boston and set off again in the morning."

"Where'd you go?" Kathy asks.

"West," Olivia says. "We camped in places far away from people. Sometimes, we slept in abandoned houses or cars. Sometimes, we didn't sleep at all."

"How long did you stay in New York for?" Elliot asks, crossing the room to sit next to his wife on the mattress.

With help from Kathy and Alex, Olivia repositions herself, making sure her back is against the wall so she can see the door. Alex sits next to her and wraps her arm around Olivia's shoulders.

"We stayed in the city for fifteen days," Alex says. "Olivia signed on to search part of the Upper West Side after the collapse."

"Collapse?" Kathy asks. "What collapse?"

* * *

_Interior – Underground bunker, Manhattan, New York City – Morning – Day 4_

For the umpteenth time in four days, the ground rumbles and shakes around them, and although Munch assured them they're safe, Alex and Olivia hide under their little wooden table and cling to each other for dear life.

The shaking subsides after several minutes, but neither woman is foolish enough to believe it is really over. Their personal rule of thumb is to wait twenty minutes before allowing themselves a glimmer of hope.

When twenty minutes pass by without an aftershock, Olivia climbs out from underneath the table and stands up. Her legs don't shake nearly as much as they did the first day. "Wait here," she says to Alex, and crosses the bunker to the ladder leading to the door. She climbs the few ladder steps and pushes open the door. "Oh my God," she breathes. "Oh my God, Alex."

"What, Liv? What is it?"

"The city is…The city's gone."

"Gone?" Alex asks, sounding quite panicked. "What do you mean gone?"

"Gone," Olivia yells. "Gone! Destroyed, flattened."

* * *

Elliot opens his mouth to say something, but Olivia cuts him off, knowing exactly what he is going to say. "You had to take care of your family, El. Remember: first–and–foremost, we take care of our own. I stayed because it's only me and Alex and she was with me the entire time. Don't beat yourself up."

"Shut up, Benson," Elliot says, lightly punching Olivia's shoulder. "Quit getting so sappy." Elliot's mocking tone turns serious. "It's good to have you back, partner."

Olivia smirks. "Now who's being sappy?"

Kathy watches Elliot and Olivia with a mixed feeling of amusement and affection. "Look at these two," she says to Alex.

Alex smiles. "It's just nice to see Liv relaxed for a change."

Kathy nods in agreement.

* * *

_Interior – House, Somewhere in Ohio – Night – Day 42_

Later that night when they are lying in bed in the room across the hall from Elliot and Kathy's, Olivia draws shapes on Alex's back with her fingertips. Alex squirms and laughs when Olivia hits a particularly ticklish spot.

"It's been a while since you laughed like that," Olivia says. "I miss it."

"There hasn't exactly been a reason to laugh lately," Alex points out.

Olivia nods and rolls to lie on her back. Staring at the ceiling, she whispers, "I love you, Alex."

Alex moves closer and drapes her arm over Olivia's stomach. "Stop," she whispers. "Stop thinking, Liv. We're going to be fine." She sounds confident and Olivia envies her.

"It's raining," Olivia says.

"Yes," Alex responds. "I know."

They lay in silence, just listening to the steady beat of rain against the roof and the comforting sound of one another's breathing, for a long time.

Finally, Alex breaks the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes," Olivia says. "Of course."

"We are going to be fine, right?" Alex asks, all confidence in her voice gone. "We're not going to die?"

"We will," Olivia says. "Someday. Not today."

"And we're still going south?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

"'Okay' what?"

"Nothing. Just 'okay'."

"Okay. I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Liv."

Later, in the quiet darkness before dawn, Olivia wakes up to Alex feeling for her pulse. "Alex?"

"I thought you were dead," Alex says.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"You were dead; it was so real."

Olivia pulls her close and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I'm alive."

"I know," Alex says. "Don't ever die, Liv. Okay? Don't ever die."

"I'll try my best."

_If you die, I die_, Alex thinks. _Don't ever die_.

* * *

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Sorry for the wait! This is also my Camp NaNoWriMo story, so updates should be fairly regular soon. Again, thanks so much for your amazing reviews! You're all so great!


	4. Chapter 3

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 3

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: The first set of dialogue is taken directly from "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy.

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* * *

Chapter 3

_Interior – House, Somewhere in Ohio – Early Morning – Day 46_

Alex wakes before dawn and lies listening to the rain drip on the roof. _A new day_, she thinks, and part of her wishes the days would stop coming. She leans over and presses the back of her hand to Olivia's forehead. The still–present fever and the thin film of sweat there make her nervous. _If only my heart were stone, _she thinks, climbing out of bed. _Then I could leave and continue on. But I love her. _She pulls on an extra set of socks and her boots and crosses the room. Pulling on her sweatshirt, she eases open the bedroom door. She knows exactly where to step to avoid making the stairs creak and waking the others.

Once outside, she crosses the yard and follows a trail into the forest. She finds her spot with ease even in the gloomy morning light and uses the tree to sink to the ground.

She's come to love this part of the day. The sun is barely out and the world is quiet. She has time to just sit and let her mind wander.

Today, however, she doesn't let her mind wander. Today she looks up at the sky and resists the urge to scream. "Are you there?" she asks. "Will I see you at the last? Have you a neck by which to throttle you? Have you a heart? Damn you eternally have you a soul?" She drops her head into her hands and sobs quietly. "Oh God," she whispers. "Oh God."

An hour later, when she steps back into the house, Elliot and Kathy are sitting at the table, looking grim.

"What happened?" Alex asks, moving past them to go up to the bedroom.

Elliot stops her by grabbing her elbow. "Alex, stop."

"Let me go, Elliot," Alex says, something dangerous flashing in her blue eyes.

Elliot is undeterred. "She's asleep."

Alex feels the familiar panic knotting up her stomach. "Have you checked on her recently?"

"She's alive, Alex," Kathy says.

"But for how long?" Alex asks in a small voice. Kathy merely shrugs. "I have to…" her words trail off and she pulls out of Elliot's grip.

Elliot goes to stop Alex, but stops when Kathy says his name. "Let her go, Elliot. She needs to be with Liv."

"How much longer does she have left if she doesn't get treatment?" Elliot asks.

"Two, maybe three days."

"Do we tell Alex?"

"We'll have to."

Elliot shakes his head. "Not right now. Let her have some hope."

In the bedroom, Alex strips out of her sweatshirt and boots and puts the extra socks in Olivia's knapsack, which was conveniently moved to beside the bed two days before. Alex settles onto the bed and props her pillow against the wall behind her. She leans back and closes her eyes.

Minutes later, she feels Olivia move beside her. She opens her eyes and looks down at the detective. "Are you okay?"

"Al," Olivia sighs. "I missed you."

Alex brushes Olivia's hair off of her face for her and smiles. "I wasn't gone long."

"Your side was cold."

"How are you feeling?" Alex asks, quickly changing the subject.

"Better," Olivia says, grimacing at Alex's stern look. "I am, Alex."

"You still have a fever." Alex sighs and pushes the blankets off Olivia. "I need to check your wound."

"Shouldn't Kathy do that?"

"Want me to go get her?" Alex asks, moving to stand up.

"No," Olivia says, reaching out and putting her hand on Alex's thigh. "Stay."

The heat from Olivia's hand burns through Alex's pants and Alex sits back against the pillow. Olivia moves closer and rests her body against Alex's, her right arm draped over Alex's legs. "I love you," Alex whispers, running her hand through Olivia's short hair.

"Am I going to die?" Olivia asks, her voice slightly muffled by the blankets she managed to pull around herself.

Alex's hand immediately stops moving through Olivia's hair. "No," she says fiercely. "No. You are not going to die, Olivia Benson. You are not going to die. Got it?" Olivia doesn't respond. "Liv?" Alex feels the panic rise in her chest at Olivia's silence. "Liv!"

"What?"

"Where'd you go?"

"I fell asleep."

"Damn it, Olivia," Alex yells. "I thought you died. You can't do that to me."

"I'm sorry, Alex," Olivia says. "I'm just so tired."

"I know, Liv. Just try to stay awake."

"I'll try."

Alex extracts herself out from underneath Olivia and walks through the house to the kitchen. "We have to get her to a hospital or a pharmacy or something," she says, sitting in a chair at the kitchen table.

"There's no electricity," Kathy says. "Even if we get her to a hospital it won't be much help."

Elliot nods. "And the pharmacies were emptied over a month ago."

"We have to do something," Alex yells, slamming her hand on the table. "I can't just sit here and watch her die."

"Elliot," Kathy says, nodding toward the stairs. Elliot takes the hint and heads up the stairs to sit with Olivia. Kathy reaches across the table and puts her hand on top of Alex's. "Alex."

Alex recognizes the look in Kathy's eyes as the same one she'd seen doctors give to families when their loved ones had died. It's a mixture of pity and understanding and professionalism. "No," she says, shaking her head. She stands up and backs away from the table. "No. Kathy, no." She feels the tears well–up in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. "No."

Kathy stands up and gathers Alex into her arms. "I know," she says, rubbing circles on Alex's back. "I know."

"I can't let her die."

"Alex-"

"What if it was Elliot?"

"Alex, I don't-"

"Kathy, you know exactly what you would do." Alex pulls out of the embrace and looks into Kathy's eyes, willing her to understand. "I have to save her. I _have_ to."

Kathy nods. She understands. "Let's save her then."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Kitchen, House Somewhere in Ohio – Afternoon – Day 46_

"You're doing what?" Elliot and Olivia yell at the same time.

Kathy sighs. Alex rolls her eyes. They knew from the get–go that convincing the detectives wouldn't be easy.

Alex lays a map on the table and points to their approximate location. "We'll be there in an hour tops."

Elliot shakes his head. "You're not going."

Kathy stares at him, wide–eyed. "We're not asking for your permission, Elliot."

"Alex," Olivia says, looking paler than she has been. "Alex, please don't do this."

Alex kneels in front of Olivia and takes the detective's hands in her own. "You need this, Liv. You've taken such good care of me; now it's my turn to take care of you. Let me do this for you, sweetheart."

"Alex-"

"You'll die without this, Liv."

"I'm getting better."

"You're not. You're dying." Alex stands up and kisses Olivia's forehead. "If you die, I die," she whispers.

Olivia looks up at her, her eyes begging the blonde to stay. "I can't change your mind, can I?" Alex shakes her head and sighs resignedly. "Don't die for me."

Alex smiles and her mask of confidence hides her uneasiness and anxiety effectively. "No one's going to die."

"Come back even if you don't find anything. Don't stay out there for too long."

Alex nods. She and Kathy already went over this. "I know."

Elliot turns to them and fixes Alex with a glare. "I'm going with you," he says.

"Who's going to stay with Liv?" Alex asks.

"I can take care of myself," Olivia says indignantly.

"Not with an infection ravaging your body you can't," Alex says, directing her icy gaze at Olivia. Knowing Alex is right, Olivia grumbles but doesn't fight. Turning her attention back to Elliot, Alex sighs. "Who's staying?"

"I am," Kathy says from the opposite side of the table.

"What? No," Alex says, shaking her head vehemently. "No, you have to go; you're the one with the medical knowledge."

"I'll be of more use here," Kathy insists. "Neither of you would know what to do if, God forbid, something should happen."

"Are you sure?" Alex asks. Kathy nods. "Okay, Elliot. We'll set out in the morning."

* * *

.

Just a note about updates for the upcoming week: the next chapter will (hopefully) be up Monday night. After that, the next chapter will be up on Friday. It would be Thursday, but I have to go see a neurologist that day.

Onward!


	5. Chapter 4

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 4

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: Thank you all so much for your well-wishes. They mean so much to me.

Author's Note 3: TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, death of children.

.

* * *

Chapter 4

_Exterior – Just Outside Zanesville, Ohio – Mid–Morning – Day 47_

They approach the outskirts of the city around eleven in the morning. Elliot keeps his service weapon in the holster on his hip, but keeps his hand on the butt of his gun while they walk. Alex pushes the cart, emptied at the house, and keeps her gun on the seat so she can grab it easily.

"How much longer?" Elliot asks.

Alex looks down at the map and shrugs. "I don't know. Not too long."

"Where are we?"

"Just outside of Zanesville, Ohio."

"Are you sure there's a hospital here?"

Alex huffs, clearly getting annoyed. "I'm sure, Elliot."

"How sure?"

"As sure I would be in the courtroom."

Elliot accepts this answer with a nod of his head. "Alex?"

"What?"

"What are you going to do if-"

"Don't say it, Elliot Stabler. Don't say it."

"Nothing's guaranteed, Alex."

"Don't you think I know that? Damn it, Elliot! We shouldn't even be in this situation."

"I apologized for that," Elliot says defensively.

Alex rolls her eyes. "You shot my girlfriend."

"Not on purpose."

In the distance, Alex sees the looming outline of Genesis–Bethesda Hospital. "Elliot," she says, pointing at the building, "look."

Elliot stops and looks at the building, hope finally making its way into his veins. Alex sees his eyes lighten and can't help but smile. "I could kiss you, Alex," he says, laughing.

Alex chuckles. "Sorry, Elliot. You're not really my type." Elliot laughs and shakes his head.

Now standing closer together, they walk on, sudden bits of uneasiness prickling the backs of their minds. Elliot draws his gun, motioning for Alex to do the same. The object is foreign and heavy in her hand even after almost fifty days of it being in her possession.

"We're almost there," Elliot whispers, as if he can sense her discomfort with the weapon. Alex nods, not quite trusting her voice not to betray her.

The short remainder of the journey passes without incident, and they are relieved to find the doors unlocked when they get to the hospital's main entrance. They open the doors and find it hard not to gasp.

The walls – normally a pristine white – are stained with blood and dirt, and the oak floors are littered with bodies of the young and the old and every age in between, lying with their hands connected, like victims of a mass suicide pact.

Alex can't stop herself from looking into the eyes of the victims they pass by. However, one specific victim catches her eye and she feels her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. She's a little girl of no more than four or five with striking blue eyes and blond hair almost identical to Alex's. In one hand she clutches a little brown teddy bear, in the other, the hand of an older girl, about seven or eight, with brown hair and brown eyes – almost identical to Olivia's.

She hears Elliot say something about how they haven't been dead long and they need to keep going, but she can't bring herself to continue walking. "Alex," Elliot says, closer to her this time. She jumps slightly. He places his hand on her shoulder. "Alex."

She finally tears her eyes away and looks into Elliot's. "Kids," she says, her voice thick with tears. "Little kids, Elliot."

He nods. "I know, Alex. I know. But we need to focus on saving Liv, Alex. There's nothing we can do for them."

She nods and follows closely behind Elliot, keeping her gaze on his back.

"The pharmacy's on the fifth floor," Elliot says, looking at a map on the registration station. "How are we going to get the cart up there?"

Alex, still in shock, reaches for her knapsack and curses when she realizes she left it at the house. "We can't leave it down here," she says angrily.

Her tone surprises him and Elliot walks around the front of the registration station and puts his hands on her shoulders. The look in Alex's eyes is cold and distant, her lips set in a thin, straight line, and her jaw is clenched. Elliot, being a police officer and a Marine, is all too familiar with what Alex is experiencing. "Al, hey. Alex, look at me."

She looks at him slowly, her eyes softening slightly. "I-"

Elliot nods. "I know. You're in shock, Alex. I've seen it before."

"I…I don't know why it's affecting me like this."

"You weren't expecting it."

Alex shrugs, seeming to accept his explanation. She pushes open the door to the stairwell. "Give me your belt," she says.

Elliot, looking confused and concerned, shakes his head. "No. Why?"

Alex rolls her eyes. "We can use it to tie the cart to the stairs."

"Will that work?"

"Do you have a better idea?" she asks.

Elliot shakes his head and takes off his belt. Handing it to Alex, he says, "We could just carry it up with us."

Alex chuckles lightly. "And when it's full, we'll carry it down again."

Elliot grimaces and rubs the back of his neck. He hadn't thought of that. "You're right."

Up three floors and through a series of intricate hallways and seemingly random left and right turns.

Alex and Elliot stand in front of the pharmacy's locked door.

"Well this sucks," Elliot says blatantly. Alex nods in agreement. "What do we do now?"

"Try kicking it in," Alex suggests with a shrug of her shoulders.

Elliot tries.

The door doesn't budge.

Elliot groans and slaps his hand against the door. "The power's out; shouldn't an electronic lock stop working?"

"I think it runs on batteries."

Elliot curses at the door and gives it a kick for good measure. "Now what?"

"There's a supply center on the second floor," Alex says.

Elliot takes in this information with a nod of his head. They look at each other for a few seconds then take off down the stairs at a near run.

Down three floors and through another series of intricate hallways.

Alex and Elliot come to a stop in front of a broken door, the word "Supplies" barely visible. Elliot draws his gun and pushes the door out of the way.

The room is devoid of life, but completely ransacked. Supplies are thrown carelessly about, needles, scalpels, and other sharp instruments litter the floor.

"Be careful where you step," Elliot says, pushing a pile of supplies out of the way with his foot.

Alex spots a small pile of duffel bags in the middle of the floor and picks them up. She sets them near the wall and opens them up. "We can put the supplies in them."

Elliot nods. "It looks like whoever was in here before us was only looking for food."

"So everything should still be here."

"Hopefully."

"What's on the list?"

Elliot takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolds it. "Suture kits, antiseptic wipes, antibiotics, painkillers, iv supplies, water purifying tablets, antibiotic ointment, bandages, gauze, tape, pen lights, scalpels, gloves, a stethoscope, sugar, cold gel packs, hemostatic gauze, hand sanitizer, tourniquets, sterilization pouches, super glue, lidocaine gel, mouthwash, salt, rubbing alcohol, toothbrushes, and toothpaste."

"That's it?" Alex asks sarcastically.

Elliot shrugs and rips the paper in half. Handing one half to Alex, he says, "You find these, I'll find the other things. We'll reconvene when we're done. Okay?" Alex nods in agreement.

They work quietly for an hour and a half, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Alex huffs and drops her second full duffel bag next to the other three full bags.

"Got everything?" Elliot asks.

Alex checks over her list and nods. "Everything but the painkillers and the antibiotics."

"The pharmacy."

"We need those more than anything else."

"I know," he says, picking up two of the bags and walking out of the supply room toward the stairwell their cart is located in.

Alex picks up the remaining two bags, struggling slightly under their weight, and follows.

Once they reach the stairwell, Elliot throws the door open and is relieved to see their cart. "Wait here," he says, loading the duffel bags into the cart.

"What? No, I'm going with you," Alex says.

"Alex, I don't know if we're alone. Do you want to come back to find our cart gone?"

"Then wait here. I'll be right back."

True to his word, Elliot returns seventeen minutes later, a smaller bag slung over his shoulder, chock–full of antibiotics and painkillers. "Let's go home," he says, a genuine smile gracing his features.

They open the stairwell door and the man with the gun comes out of nowhere.


	6. Chapter 5

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 5

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: A majority of this chapter is flashbacks. They actually are important.

.

Chapter 5

_Interior – Hospital, Zanesville, Ohio – Early Afternoon – Day 47_

The man cocks his gun.

Alex expects a wide array of memories to flash before her eyes; instead her memories focus solely on the past year.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex Cabot's Office, Office of the District Attorney, Manhattan – Morning – One Year Before Impact_

Alex sits at her desk, her glasses lying on the legal pad in front of her, her office phone cradled between her ear and her shoulder.

"Southerlyn," Serena answers, chipper as ever.

Alex rolls her eyes. "Hey, Ser."

"Try not to sound so happy, Alex," Serena says sarcastically.

"You fancy yourself a comedian now, Southerlyn?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Drinks. You and me. Nine."

Alex laughs. "Can't."

"Why not?"

"Some people have to work, Serena."

"You have a trust fund for a reason, Cabot. Live a little."

"Today was my first day."

"Oh?" Serena says, sounding intrigued. "What unit did they stick you in?"

"Special Victims," Alex says with a sigh.

"Good for politics." She can almost hear Serena smile mischievously. "I heard a certain detective is quite the looker."

Alex blushes furiously. "Which detective would that be?"

"You know which one."

"Benson," Alex says, the name still foreign on her lips.

"What's she like?"

"She's…" Alex thinks back to her initial impression of the detective. "She's something."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Bar, Manhattan – Evening – Eleven Months Before Impact_

"So, Detective," Alex says, leaning across the table toward Olivia, "is this where you take all the girls?"

Olivia smirks. "Only the ones I want to impress," she says with a wink.

Alex, feeling the blush creep up her neck, takes another sip of her wine. Maybe she can chock it up to being slightly drunk.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex Cabot's Office, Office of the District Attorney, Manhattan – Morning – Ten Months Before Impact_

Alex is sitting at her desk, her glasses on top of her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, when Olivia bursts in. She's fire and passion and frustration and Alex feels the beginnings of a headache already forming. Olivia all but slams the door behind her and the only saving grace is that she is alone. Alex comes around to the front of her desk and leans against it, putting a finger up to stop Olivia before she begins.

"There isn't enough for a warrant," she says.

"Alex," Olivia says, the anger rolling off of her in waves. "We can't send that little girl back there."

Alex wants to scream. She knows they can't send the little girl back. She _knows_. But the law… "I'll make some calls," she says, sighing.

She feels the detective's anger dissipate slightly. "Thank you," Olivia says. And for a second it looks like she wants to hug Alex, but she doesn't, and Alex doesn't know whether she's grateful or upset.

"Don't mention it," Alex says, smiling. Olivia nods and leaves the office.

Alex watches the way her hips sway and mentally slaps herself. "You're going to be the death of me, Olivia Benson," she says to the empty room.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Special Victims Unit, Manhattan, New York City – Morning – Nine Months Before Impact_

Alex walks into the squadroom, all legs and anger, and stops next to Olivia's desk. Olivia looks up hesitantly, not quite hiding her smile. "Can I help you with something, Counselor?"

Alex glares at her before glancing around the squadroom. Finding it empty, she leans in close to Olivia. "You didn't even think to leave a note?" she hisses.

Truth be told, Olivia hadn't actually thought of leaving a note when she'd left that morning. She shrugs. "Did you want me to?"

Alex rolls her eyes. "It would've been polite."

"I'll keep that in mind for next time," Olivia says, flashing Alex a cocky smile.

"What makes you think there's going to be a next time, Detective?" Alex asks, smiling mischievously.

Olivia's face falls almost instantly. "Well there is, isn't there?"

Alex simply shrugs. "Dinner tonight?"

"If we don't catch a case," Olivia says.

"Good. Call me when you leave."

"I will."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Olivia's Apartment – Night – Eight Months Before Impact_

"Hey, Liv," Alex calls from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Olivia says, appearing at the door.

"Did I leave a toothbrush here?"

"A toothbrush?" Alex nods. "You did, but I accidentally threw it out. I got you a new one."

"Where is it?"

"Cabinet over the sink."

Alex opens the cabinet and rolls her eyes when she sees the toothbrush Olivia picked out for her. "This is a baby toothbrush, Liv." She can hear Olivia snickering from the other room.

"It's Winnie the Pooh, Alex."

"It's a baby toothbrush."

"If you're going to complain, you can use your finger."

Alex rolls her eyes. "You are incorrigible, Olivia Benson."

"That's why you love me," Olivia says with a crooked grin. Realization hits her immediately and her smile fades. "I, uh…That's not what I meant." She blushes as furiously as Alex does.

Alex chuckles uncomfortably and goes back to brushing her teeth. _If you only knew, Liv, _she thinks.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Olivia's Apartment – Night – Seven Months Before Impact_

Perched on the edge of the couch and sipping a glass of wine, Alex watches Olivia's hips gyrate to the music playing over the radio in the kitchen. Feeling the flush creep up her neck, she sets her wine glass on the coffee table and joins Olivia in the kitchen.

"It's not ready yet," Olivia says, feeling Alex standing behind her.

"How long?" Alex asks, resting her hands on Olivia's hips.

"Not too much longer," Olivia says. "Maybe fifteen minutes.

"Dance with me."

Olivia laughs. "You can't dance."

"You can." Alex chuckles. "Dance with me."

Olivia spins around and takes Alex's hands in her own. "Like this?" she asks, spinning the blonde. Alex laughs and kisses the brunette quickly, catching her off guard. Olivia stops dancing momentarily and just enjoys the feeling of Alex's body against hers. "Are we dating?" she asks.

"I thought that was obvious," Alex says, a bit confused.

Olivia shrugs. "I thought we were, but I wanted to be sure."

Alex nods and kisses Olivia's cheek. "We're dating."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Café – Morning – Six Months Before Impact_

"Good morning, Counselor," Olivia says, greeting Alex with a kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning, Detective," Alex says, smiling widely and sitting in the chair Olivia pulled out for her. "How are you this morning?"

"A little tired, actually."

"Oh? Were you up late last night?" Alex chuckles mischievously.

"Just a little," Olivia says with a wink. "Breakfast?"

Alex shakes her head. "Just a coffee for me."

"You don't want anything to eat?"

"You know I don't eat breakfast."

"You should."

"Don't start lecturing me, Liv."

"Too early?"

"Just a little."

"I lecture because I care, Alex," Olivia says, smirking.

Alex rolls her eyes. "Eat your pancakes, Benson."

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Central Park – Early Afternoon – Five Months Before Impact_

"This is nice," Alex says, lying back on the picnic blanket.

"It is," Olivia agrees, lying next to her. "It's not often our days off coincide."

Alex chuckles. "This is the first weekend we've both had off in two months."

"Did you have something to do with it?"

Alex rolls her eyes. "If I could, you know I would."

"I like working."

"I know you do. But you work so hard, Liv. You deserve a day or two off."

Olivia leans over and kisses Alex's cheek. "You're wonderful," she whispers.

"I love you," Alex blurts out suddenly. She blushes furiously and clamps her hand over her mouth. "Did I just say that out loud?"

Olivia, blushing almost as deep, just chuckles. "Spend the night with me."

All Alex can do is nod, grateful her admission hadn't sent the detective running.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex Cabot's Office, Office of the District Attorney, Manhattan – Afternoon – Four Months Before Impact_

"A no-knock warrant, Liv? I really wish you wouldn't do this," Alex says, reluctantly handing the blue paper to Olivia.

Olivia takes it and puts it in her back pocket. "I know, Al. But it's the only way."

"Be safe."

"I'm always safe," Olivia says, smiling crookedly.

Alex, however, is not in the mood for games and just sighs. "Call me when you're done, okay? And _not_ from the hospital."

Olivia nods and turns for the door. "I know, Alex."

"I mean it, Olivia Benson. Be careful."

"I love you, Alex," Olivia says, leaving the office. She almost turns around, but executing the warrant is her main priority and she keeps going.

"I love you too," Alex says to the empty office.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Hampton Inn, North Conway, New Hampshire – Evening – Three Months Before Impact_

"Thanks for coming with me," Alex says, kicking off her shoes and lying on the bed.

"Like I could refuse," Olivia says, lying next to Alex.

Alex laughs. "You could've said no."

"Not with the way you were looking at me," Olivia says, shaking her head.

"I'll have to keep that in mind."

Olivia sighs and rolls her eyes. "How are you going to introduce me to your family?"

"As my girlfriend," Alex says, as if it is obvious.

"Will they be okay with that?"

Alex shrugs. "They don't have much of a choice. They won't want to ruin Lizzie's wedding."

Olivia laughs. "You are evil, Alex Cabot."

Alex smirks. "It's one of the many things you love about me."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Special Victims Unit, Manhattan, New York City – Morning – Two Months Before Impact_

"What are you doing this weekend?" Alex asks, sitting on the edge of Olivia's desk.

"Munch and Fin are catching, so…sleeping," Olivia says, looking up from the DD5 she's working on. Alex places two tickets on the desk in front of Olivia. "Why? Do you have a better suggestion?"

"I might," Alex says, setting two tickets in front of Olivia.

"What are these?"

"Yankees versus the Blue Jays. Sunday. Take Elliot."

Olivia smiles widely. "Are you serious?"

Alex nods. "You two deserve it after this week."

"Do you understand how much I love you?"

"I think I have an idea," Alex says with a smirk.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex's Apartment – Early Morning – One Month Before Impact_

"What are you making?" Olivia asks, sitting on the counter by Alex.

"Breakfast," Alex answers, not looking away from the skillet on the stove.

"Why?"

"I want to."

"I thought you couldn't cook."

"Which is why I'm focusing on it, Liv, and you're interrupting me."

Olivia chuckles and hops off the counter. "Do you want me to do it?"

"No," Alex says quickly. "No, I can do it."

"Are you sure?" Alex nods. Olivia kisses her cheek. "You're cute when you're focusing."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Olivia's Apartment – Evening – Day Before Impact_

Olivia lies on the couch, her head in Alex's lap. "What a week," she says, barely suppressing a yawn.

Alex smiles down at her. "Go to sleep."

"What about this movie?"

"I'm not going to sleep. You are."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "So you're going to watch it without me?"

Alex nods. "You can watch it tomorrow."

"Fine," Olivia grumbles, closing her eyes. "But you're watching it with me."

Alex runs her hand through the detective's hair. "You know I will," she says, but Olivia is already asleep.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Hospital, Zanesville, Ohio – Early Afternoon – Day 47_

"Alex," Elliot says, urgency in his voice. "Alex, we have to go now."

Alex blinks quickly several times, bringing herself back to the present. "What happened?"

Elliot pulls his belt off the cart and shoves it into one of the duffel bag. He pulls the cart alone behind him through the lobby and out into the bright, mid-afternoon sunshine. Alex follows behind him, one hand on the cart, the other gripping her gun.

The first thirty minutes of the journey back to the house are silent, with only the occasional squeak of the cart's wheels serving as noise. Elliot is listening for any noise that seems out of place, while Alex sorts through the day's events.

"Where'd you go, Alex?" Elliot eventually asks.

Alex shakes her head, turning her attention to the conversation they are now having. "When?"

"Today. You weren't yourself."

"Nowhere."

"Alex, don't lie to me. I need to be able to rely on you."

Alex feels an irrational amount of anger boiling her blood. "Shut up, Elliot," she nearly yells. "Just shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"Alex."

"No. Elliot, don't. Just don't. Let's just get back so we can save Liv."

"Okay," he says. "Just know that you can talk to me if you need to."

"I know, Elliot. I know."

* * *

.

I just want to thank all of you again for the well wishes. The appointment went well. I'm fine. I have what's called an "essential tremor". It's genetic and no big deal. So thank you all again.


	7. Chapter 6

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 6

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: TRIGGER WARNING: death of a child.

Author's Note 3: I'm not a doctor, as you all know. So my medical knowledge stems from research and tv shows. I'm sorry if I got anything wrong.

.

* * *

Chapter 6

_Interior – House – Late Afternoon – Day 47_

"You're going to be fine," Kathy says, wiping the sweat off Olivia's forehead with a cold washcloth. She checks the watch on Olivia's wrist and prays – not for the first time today – that Elliot and Alex get back quickly.

"You don't have to sit here and watch me die, Kath," Olivia says, sounding as though she actually is on her deathbed.

"You are not going to die."

"It's septic, isn't it? You can tell me."

Kathy pushes away the blankets and unwraps Olivia's leg to look at the wound. She recoils slightly upon seeing it. There's blood and pus, the smell is foul, and it generally looks infected. Kathy covers it back up and says, "You're going to be fine."

"Can I go to sleep?"

"No," Kathy says. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"Alex and Elliot are going to be back soon."

"You keep saying that."

Thankfully, Kathy doesn't have to respond because at the moment the downstairs door bangs open and Elliot and Alex's voice float up the stairs, calling out for their respective partners.

"See?" Kathy says. "I told you they'd be back soon." Olivia manages a weak smile that looks more like a grimace.

Less than two minutes later, the bedroom door opens and in walk Elliot and Alex, both carrying full duffel bags. They drop the bags on the ground and Kathy looks like a kid in a candy shop. She quickly starts to sort through the supplies, setting aside the materials she will need right away.

"Alex," Kathy says, "put these things back in the bags." Kathy points to the sorted supplies on the ground around the bed. "And Elliot, go find me a piece of wood I can put Liv's leg on."

As Elliot and Alex scurry off to do as Kathy says, Kathy helps Olivia get into a sitting position.

"What about the back of my leg?" Olivia asks.

"Do you want to do that first?" Olivia nods. Kathy helps her roll over. "How are you feeling, Liv?"

"Fine," Olivia says, her voice muffled by her pillow. "How much is this going to hurt?"

"I don't know," Kathy says. "Are you ready?" She looks at Alex. "You might want to hold her hand."

Alex nods and sits at the top of the bed. "You're going to be okay," she says, kissing Olivia's head.

"Ready?" Kathy asks.

"Ready," Olivia says.

Kathy opens the tube of lidocaine gel and uses a piece of gauze to apply some generously to the wound. Olivia hisses at the unexpected amount of cold gel on her leg, but sighs happily when she doesn't feel any pain.

"How are you feeling?" Kathy asks.

"Fine," Olivia says. "Cold."

"I know," Kathy says. "But here comes the fun part. I have to clean the wound."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Yes. Ready?"

Olivia sighs. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Using one of the antiseptic wipes, Kathy cleans the wound in Olivia's leg. Olivia bites her tongue to keep from crying out and grips Alex's hand tightly. Once she is done cleaning the wound, Kathy applies a small amount of rubbing alcohol to a piece of gauze and presses it to the wound. The pain is so intense that Olivia can't do anything but press her head into the pillow and squeeze Alex's hand.

"I know, baby. I know," Alex says, smoothing down Olivia's hair.

"I am going to kill your husband, Kathy," Olivia says through gritted teeth.

"I wouldn't blame you," Kathy says, laughing. "Ready to be bandaged up?" Olivia nods and Kathy spreads some antibiotic ointment on the wound. She covers it with gauze and tapes the gauze down. "Ready to do the other side now?"

Olivia groans and pushes her body up using her forearms. Alex and Kathy help her roll on to her back. "Do you still need the wood?" Olivia asks, taking Alex's hand.

Kathy shakes her head. "Not if you hold still."

"I can't promise that I will," Olivia says.

"I can hold her down if you need me to," Alex offers.

Kathy looks at her doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

"She's sure," Olivia says. "She used to wrestle me down to get the remote out of my hands."

Kathy chuckles. "Okay. I'll ask you if I need you." She uncovers the wound and notices necrotic tissue. "Damn it," she says under hear breath.

"What? What's wrong?" Alex asks, instantly alarmed.

"The tissue's dying," Kathy says, covering the wound in lidocaine gel. "I'm going to have to remove it."

"What?" Olivia yells, sitting up. "No. No, let it be."

"It's dying, Liv," Kathy says. "It's going to make the infection worse."

"How much is there?" Alex asks.

Kathy uses the penlight to look inside the wound as best she can. "It doesn't look like much. I should be done in about ten minutes."

"Have you ever done it before?" Alex asks.

"No," Kathy says. "Usually a surgeon does it. But I've seen it done a thousand times."

"Do it," Olivia says. "Just do it."

"Okay," Kathy says, picking up a scalpel. "Are you sure?" Olivia nods and clutches Alex's hand. Kathy starts the procedure, taking as little tissue at a time as possible.

The process feels like it takes forever and Alex has to keep constant pressure on Olivia's shoulder to keep her lying down. Olivia whimpers slightly throughout the procedure and Alex presses her lips to Olivia's temple to keep her calm.

Finally, Kathy sets down the scalpel and looks up. "All set," she says.

Alex lets out a breath in a long sigh and Olivia relaxes against her. "Thank you," Alex says, brushing Olivia's hair out of her face.

"Is she still sweating?" Kathy asks.

Alex nods. "Badly."

"I have to get her hooked up to antibiotics." Kathy bandages up the wound exactly like the other side and grabs an IV packet and a bag of intravenous antibiotics. She hangs the antibiotics on the bedpost and opens the IV packet. Tying a tourniquet around the upper part of Olivia's arm, Kathy quickly finds a good vein and inserts the needle. She attaches the tube from the needle to the bag of antibiotics.

"Done?" Olivia asks.

Kathy smiles. "Done."

"How are you feeling?" Alex asks.

"Okay," Olivia says. "Tired. Can I sleep now?"

Kathy nods. "We'll check on you in a little bit."

"Okay," Olivia says, closing her eyes. "Thank you, Kathy. Love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Liv. Sleep well," Alex says. She follows Kathy to the kitchen and practically falls into a chair. "God, it's been a long day."

"Amen to that," Kathy says with a nod, sitting in the chair across the table from Alex.

"Will she be okay?"

Kathy nods. "The antibiotics will kick in by tomorrow night."

"Good," Alex says. "Good." She turns her attention toward staring out the window, watching as the wind blows leaves off the trees. "How are you holding up?" she asks after a while.

"Fine," Kathy says unconvincingly.

"Tell me," Alex says, reaching across the table and placing her hand on Kathy's.

Kathy sighs. "I was so afraid, Alex. I thought I was going to slip and kill her."

"But you didn't."

"Thank God."

"I had faith in you, Kathy."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Where'd Elliot go?"

"He still feels guilty about shooting Liv, so he's hiding outside somewhere."

"She's forgiven him."

"He knows. Unfortunately, he won't be okay until she's okay."

Alex nods. "That makes sense."

Kathy stands up and rummages through the cabinets. Finding a couple cans of soup, she turns to Alex and asks, "Are you hungry?"

"Always." Alex laughs. "How low on food are we?"

"If we only eat three basic meals a day, we have enough food for a month."

"That's good."

"Can you go get Elliot? Just go to the back door and yell his name."

Alex nods. "Sure." She walks to the back door and opens it. "Elliot," she yells. "Time to come in."

He emerges from the woods a minute later, his clothes covered in sticks and dirt. "Food?" he asks.

Alex nods. "You're a mess," she says. "What were you doing?"

"The same thing you do every morning."

"You know about that?"

"I heard you telling Liv about it the first day."

Kathy emerges from the kitchen. "Dinner," she says, tilting her head toward the table. "I already brought some up to Olivia."

"How is she?" Alex and Elliot ask at the same time.

"Hungry," Kathy says.

Alex sighs. "That's a good sign, right? She hasn't been hungry for a couple days."

"It's a good sign, Alex. It's a very good sign."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Night – Day 47_

"I heard about what happened at the hospital," Olivia says as Alex climbs into bed.

Alex rolls her eyes. "Elliot told you?"

"Yeah. Feel like talking about it?"

"Not really."

"I know it hits close to home for you, Al."

"Liv, please," Alex pleads.

"Okay," Olivia says. "Okay. I'm here if you need to talk."

"I know, Liv. I love you."

"I love you too."

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Playground, Boston, Massachusetts – Afternoon – May 1985_

Ten–year–old Alex and her eleven–year–old brother Henry are playing hide and seek at the playground in front of their school. Alex is hiding under the slide where henry can't see her, but she can see him.

Ten minutes into their game, a black car pulls up to the sidewalk and a man gets out. He walks over to the fence where Henry is standing and says something, but Alex can't hear him. Suddenly the man pulls out a gun. Henry tries to back away, but the man is holding him by the front of his shirt.

"Alex, run," Henry yells, but Alex is paralyzed by fear; she doesn't want to watch, but she can't look away.

The man puts the gun to Henry's head and pulls the trigger. Henry's lifeless body crumples to the ground. "Maybe now your father will get the message," he says. Stashing the gun in his coat, he gets back into the car and drives away.

Alex crawls out of her hiding spot and rushes over to her brother. "You have to get up, Henry," she says, tears running down her cheeks. "You have to get up. Mom and Dad are gonna be mad if we're late."

Their parents find them an hour later. Alex is still holding Henry's hand and begging him to wake up.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Night – Day 47_

"Alex," Olivia says. "Alex, wake up."

Alex wakes up and immediately sits up. "What? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You were having a nightmare."

Alex lays back down, facing away from Olivia so the detective can't see the tears rolling down her face. "I'm fine."

"It was about your brother, wasn't it?"

"I said I'm fine, Liv," Alex snaps.

"If you need to talk, I'm here," Olivia says. When she doesn't get a response, she moves so she can kiss Alex's temple. "I love you, Alex. I know the pain won't go away, but it'll get better."

Alex wipes furiously at her eyes. "I love you too, Liv," she says, her voice breaking slightly.


	8. Chapter 7

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 7

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 7

_Interior – House – Morning – Day 50_

"You look better," Elliot says as Olivia sits in a chair at the kitchen table. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Olivia says, adjusting her IV line so she can eat breakfast without it getting caught on everything.

"Fine?"

Olivia huffs. "Yes, Elliot. Fine. I'd be a whole lot better if I could take this damn IV out of my arm."

"Tomorrow morning," Kathy says, walking into the room.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "But I'm feeling better."

"She's back to herself, isn't she?" Alex asks, coming out of the bedroom.

"Alex," Olivia exclaims. "Alex, tell them I'm fine."

Alex chuckles and shakes her head. "Do as Kathy says, Liv." Olivia, her demeanor changing to prepare for a battle, turns to argue, but is cut off by a glare from her girlfriend. "No," Alex says, her tone sharp. "Do you understand how close you were to dying three days ago? You're doing as Kathy says, Olivia Benson."

Olivia crosses her arms over her chest, careful not to disturb her IV, and sulks. "Fine," she says. "How'd you sleep last night?"

Alex, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, turns on her heel and runs out of the house. "I have to…" she says, her voice trailing off as she shuts the door behind her.

"What did I say?" Olivia asks, looking between Elliot and Kathy. Elliot looks just as confused as Olivia feels and Kathy just looks away. "Kathy?"

Kathy sighs. "She hasn't been sleeping, Liv," she says, giving Elliot a look. He nods and leaves the room.

"What?" Olivia asks. "Why not?"

Kathy sits in Elliot's recently vacated chair. "How much do you know about what happened to Alex's brother?"

"Just that she was there when he died."

"She never told you any of the details?"

Olivia shakes her head. "She never wanted to talk about, so I stopped asking."

"Liv, Alex's brother was killed in front of her when she was ten years old."

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Woods by House – Morning – Day 50_

Alex is running. The terrain is hard and uneven under her feet and she's pretty sure she's going uphill, but the physical pain is certainly preferable to the mental anguish that has been her constant state for days. The thoughts and worries and memories are pushed out of her mind by the need for constant focus on where her feet land.

She closes her eyes for a brief second and when she opens them, she is tripping over a tree root and flying through the air. Her right side takes the brunt of the collision and she hits the forest floor with a soft thud.

The world spins as she tries to stand up, so she settles for pushing herself to a sitting position. She leans against a nearby tree and pulls her knees to her chest. Resting her head on her legs, she lets the tears fall freely.

She doesn't hear Elliot sit down next to her until he says her name.

"I'm not going back inside," she says, not looking up.

"Okay," he says.

"Is she mad at me?"

"Who?"

"Liv."

"Should she be?"

"I didn't tell her."

"We all have secrets."

Alex lifts her head and stares blankly into the forest. "Do you know?"

"About your brother?" Elliot sighs. "Yeah, I do."

Alex nods. "Kathy does too."

"You told her?"

Alex nods. "She forced it out of me."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Morning – Day 48_

Alex is awake before the sun comes up over the horizon. The house is dark, but the light from the moon that filters in through the bedroom window is bright enough to see by. She bolts upright in bed, a thin film of cold sweat covering her body, and rubs her eyes to get rid of sleep and memories. She pushes her hair out of her eyes and sighs. _Just a dream_, she thinks. _Just a dream_. Placing her hand on Olivia's chest, she revels in the immediate calming effect the steady rise and fall motion has on her, even though the skin beneath the t-shirt is still burning.

Olivia grunts in her sleep and brings her free hand up to grasp Alex's. The move is so familiar, so normal, and the normalcy of it all so jarring, that Alex gasps and pulls her hand out of Olivia's hold. She throws the blankets off of her body and turns so her legs are dangling off the bed. Slipping her feet into her slippers, she stands up, pulls on the sweatshirt that she keeps on the bedpost, and quietly leaves the room.

She makes it down the stairs and halfway through the kitchen before she realizes someone is sitting at the table.

"You're up early," Kathy says.

Alex turns around, blushing slightly at being caught, and shrugs. "Couldn't sleep."

Kathy watches her, her eyes free of judgment but full of curiosity. "You had a nightmare," she says matter of factly.

Alex mentally curses herself for being found out. "No, I didn't."

Kathy, having experience with nightmares and people who lie about having them, just nods. "Okay," she says. "But who's Henry?"

Alex sighs. "No one."

Again, Kathy just nods. "When you're ready to talk about it, Alex, I'll be here." With that, she stands up and heads up the stairs.

"Kathy," Alex says, stopping the other woman halfway up the stairs. "I'm ready to talk about it."

.

* * *

.

Olivia's voice cuts through the silent morning air and startle both Alex and Elliot. "Alex? Elliot? Are you guys out here?"

"Stay there, Liv," Elliot yells back. "We'll be right out." He stands up and extends his hand to help Alex up. Alex takes it gratefully.

They make their way out of the forest to the house where Olivia is standing at the back door. "You don't have to talk to me about it, Alex."

Elliot excuses himself from the potentially awkward situation and goes inside to see his wife.

"Kathy told you," Alex says, staring intently at the ground.

Olivia nods. "Don't be upset."

"I'm not," Alex says. She shakes her head. "I was, but I know… Liv, listen. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me."

Olivia places her hand on Alex's cheek, rubbing small circles with her thumb. "I will _always _worry about you."

Alex smiles and shakes her head.

* * *

.


	9. Chapter 8

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 8

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: The final flashback is not a memory, but a view of someone else's life. Also, the dialogue in it is taken almost exactly from "The Road".

.

* * *

Chapter 8

_Exterior – Yard behind House – Night – Day 54_

Olivia and Alex lay out on a blanket in the backyard, looking up at the starry night sky. The air is cold, colder than usual for the middle of December, and crisp, the smell of fresh snow lingering in the air.

"It's almost his birthday," Olivia says.

Alex nods distractedly. "Yeah."

Concerned, Olivia looks over at Alex. "What are you thinking about, Al?"

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Cabot House, Boston, Massachusetts – Morning – December 15, 1980_

Five-year-old Alex stands outside her brother's bedroom door, a handmade card birthday in her hand. She knocks quietly on the door, waits a few seconds, then knocks again.

Henry opens the door, disheveled and half-asleep, and Alex does a kind of happy dance that makes him smile. "Morning, Alex," he says.

"Good morning, Henry," Alex says, smiling widely. "Happy birthday." She throws the card into his hands and runs down the stairs to the playroom near the kitchen.

Minutes later, Henry barrels down the stairs. "Don't run," their mother yells from her office, but Henry doesn't listen. He rounds the corner at the bottom of the stairs at a run, his socked feet sliding on the polished wood floor, and crashes unceremoniously to the ground with a sickening crack.

Alex flinches involuntarily and runs to help when she hears her brother's wail of pain. Elizabeth Cabot comes out of her office in a frenzy, tending to the boy on the floor. "Alex, honey," Elizabeth says, helping Henry to his feet, "go get my purse, your brother's shoes, and jackets for the both of you."

"Why, Mommy?" Alex asks.

"Henry's arm is broken; he has to go to the hospital."

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Yard behind House – Night – Day 54_

"And that's how my brother broke his arm on his seventh birthday," Alex says with a sad laugh. Her face goes unreadable as she slips on her emotionless mask to cover up the grief and hurt and anger she still feels.

"Hey," Olivia says soothingly, resting her hand on Alex's. "You don't need to hide from me, Al. I understand what you're feeling."

"We should go inside," Alex says. "It's going to snow."

Olivia chuckles lightly. "How do you know?"

"There's a certain smell."

Olivia snorts. "What? No. C'mon, Alex."

Alex rolls her eyes at Olivia's skepticism. "Whatever, Liv. Suit yourself." She stands up and heads for the house.

No more than ten minutes later the first few snowflakes fall. Alex watches through the window as the snow gets heavier and Olivia gets up, quickly brushing herself off, gathers the blankets, and bursts in through the back door.

Alex smiles smugly at the cold detective. "Satisfied?" Olivia glares at Alex before dissolving into a fit of laughter. Alex watches in confusion. "Why are you laughing?"

Olivia composes herself enough to speak clearly and says, "This is a really screwed up situation, Alex."

"What?"

"This," Olivia says, gesturing to the room, "is really screwed up."

"I'm not following."

"How did our life end up like this? Why weren't we warned ahead of time?"

Alex shrugs. "They didn't know."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "That's bull, Alex, and you know it."

"Then what do you want me to say, Liv?" Alex asks. "Yes, it's an unfortunate situation. Yes, I'd rather be back home with enough food to eat and the electricity still on and my parents still alive. But at least we're still alive and we have each other. And" – Alex pauses, hearing a noise – "Did you hear that?"

Olivia's hand immediately goes to the gun in the holster on her hip. "Hear what?"

"Quiet," Alex whispers. Hearing the noise again, she walks quietly and quickly to the front door, careful to avoid crashing into any furniture in the dark kitchen. She pushes aside the curtain on the window and looks outside.

"Do I need to shoot anyone?" Olivia asks, her gun already drawn.

Alex waves her away. "No."

"Who is it?"

"Look," Alex says, stepping aside so Olivia can look out the window.

"Oh," is all Olivia can say.

Dressed in not much more than a ratty, oversized coat and jeans that are too short with a Power Rangers backpack at his feet, a shoeless little boy of no more than four years old stands on the step in front of the door.

"What do we do, Liv?" Alex asks. "We can't leave him out there."

"I know that, Alex," Olivia says, running her had through her hair. "I know. Just give me a minute." She disappears up the stairs and returns a minute later with Elliot and Kathy following right behind her.

Alex sighs and addresses Elliot and Olivia. "What are you to doing?"

"Checking the perimeter," Elliot says.

"If we don't find anyone, we'll bring him in," Olivia adds.

Alex, outraged at leaving a child out in the cold, scoffs at the plan. "Look at him, Liv. He's freezing."

Olivia looks at her apologetically. "It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Meanwhile, this little boy gets sicker and sicker," Alex says, throwing her hands up.

"We know it's a bad plan, Alex," Kathy says, "but it's the only plan we have."

Alex sighs dejectedly. "Fine, but be quick about it; I don't want him standing out there any longer than he has to."

Fifteen minutes later, Elliot and Olivia come back into the house. "Bring him in," Olivia says.

"You didn't find anyone?" Alex asks. Olivia shakes her head. Alex opens the door.

The little boy stands up from where he was sitting and launches himself into Alex's arms. "Mommy," he exclaims.

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Putnam State Forest, Vermont – Night – Day 42_

"We're survivors," he says over the flame of the lamp. The orange glow from the fire barely illuminates her face, instead casting eerie shadows around her eyes and nose.

"Survivors?" she asks incredulously.

"Yes."

"What in God's name are you talking about? We're not survivors; we're the walking dead in a horror film."

He takes her hands in his. "I'm begging you."

She pulls her hands out of his grasp and shakes her head. "I don't care. I don't care if you cry. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"Please," he pleads.

"Stop it."

"I am begging you. I'll do anything."

"Such as what?" she asks, her tone harsh. "I should have done it weeks ago. When there were three bullets in the gun instead of two. I was stupid. And now I'm done. I thought about not even telling you. That would probably have been best."

"Please."

"You have two bullets and then what? You can't protect us. You say you would die for us, but what good is that? I'd take him with me if it weren't for you. You know I would. It's the right thing to do."

"You're talking crazy," he says with a wave of his hand.

"No, I'm speaking the truth. Sooner or later, they will catch us and they will kill us. They are going to kill us and eat us and you won't face it. You'd rather wait for it to happen. But I can't. I can't." She sits with her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms crossed on top of them. "We used to talk about death," she says. "We don't anymore. Why is that?"

"I don't know," he says.

"It's because it's here. There's nothing left to talk about."

"I wouldn't leave you." She doesn't respond. "Will you at least tell him goodbye?"

"No. I will not."

"Just wait till morning. Please."

"I have to go," she says, standing up.

"For the love of God, woman. What am I to tell him?"

"I can't help you."

"Where are you going? You can't even see."

"I don't have to."

He stands up. "I'm begging you."

"No. I will not. I cannot."

* * *

.


	10. Chapter 9

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 9

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 9

_Interior – House – Night – Day 54_

Alex wraps her arms around the boy's small frame and picks him up. Once he is settled on her hip, she picks up his backpack and kicks the door shut. Turning around, she notices the confused faces of Olivia, Kathy, and Elliot. She shrugs her right shoulder and continues past them to the living room.

Light filters in though the living room windows, casting an ethereal glow over the furniture. Alex sits the little boy on the couch and covers him up with a blanket. "I'll be right back, okay, sweetie?"

"Mommy, stay," he says, holding on to her hand.

Alex kneels in front of the couch and looks into the little boy's blue eyes. "I'll be right there," she says, pointing toward the kitchen. "You'll be able to see me. Okay?" He nods his head and lets go of Alex's hand.

In the kitchen, Alex stands so the little boy can see her face. He watches her intently, either too afraid or too worried to close his eyes.

"Alex," Olivia says, waving her hand in front of Alex's face to get her attention. "Alex, are you still with us?"

"What? Yes, I'm here," Alex says.

"What the hell was that?" Olivia asks, her voice louder than necessary.

"Liv," Kathy chastises.

"I'm just as confused as you are, Liv," Alex says, running her hand through her hair.

"He had a backpack," Elliot says. "What's in it?"

Olivia detaches her flashlight from her belt and hands it to Alex, who places the backpack on the table and unzips it. Item by item, she takes out clothes (old and too slam, by the looks of them), crayons (most of them broken), two cans of vegetables (peas and carrots), three coloring books, and a folder. Opening the folder, Alex smiles. "Important documents," she says. All of the documents are laminated: birth certificate, Social Security card, his most recent photograph. Behind the papers, taped to the inside of the folder, is a family picture. "This explains a lot," Alex says, showing the picture to the three other adults.

"Oh my God, Alex," Kathy says.

"She could be your twin," Olivia adds.

Looking down at the picture, Alex has a strange feeling travel up her spine. _Too many similarities_, she thinks. _Far too many similarities to not be…_

"What's his name?" Elliot asks.

"Oliver," Olivia says, looking at the birth certificate. "Oliver Henry…"

"What, Liv?" Alex asks, already knowing the answer and praying she's wrong. "What's his last name?"

Olivia looks up, not exactly sure why she feels sick. "Cabot. Oliver Henry Cabot."

Alex's world is spinning out of control and moving in slow motion simultaneously. Her legs feel like they are going to give out underneath her; she drops the flashlight and clutches the back of the chair for support.

"You need to breathe, Alex," Olivia says, taking Alex's hands and helping her sit in the chair. "Just breathe."

Alex rests her head on the table, letting the cold wood take away some of the heat that seems to be emanating from her body.

"Mommy," Oliver says, running into the kitchen.

Kathy picks him up before he can get to Alex and says, "She's not feeling too good right now, buddy. How about we give her a few minutes?"

"What's wrong?" Oliver asks.

"Tummy ache," Kathy says, bring Oliver back into the living room, Elliot following closely behind.

In the kitchen, Olivia sits in the chair across from Alex – not touching her, not really even looking at her. "Wanna tell me what that was about, Alex?"

Alex lifts her head up and looks at Olivia. "Liv, I-"

"You know him don't you?" Olivia asks accusingly. Alex nods. "How?"

"He's my son."

"Your son? Alex, what are you talking about?"

"Five years ago, my sister-"

"You have a sister?" Olivia sighs and sits back in her chair. "You never told me. What else don't I know about you, Alex?"

"Let me explain," Alex says pleadingly.

"Fine," Olivia says. "Explain."

Alex sighs. "Shortly after we graduated high school, Jessica moved out to California to pursue an acting career. The family all but disowned her."

"How does that lead to you becoming a mother?"

"She called me five years ago to tell me she had gotten married, but she was infertile and really wanted a family. So I flew out to California, donated some of my eggs, and gave her the family she wanted."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

Alex shrugs. "It never seemed important enough."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know," Alex says. "Biologically, he's my son."

"But?"

"But I need to find out what happened to bring him here before I do anything else."

.

* * *

.

_Exterior – Putnam State Forest, Vermont – Morning – Day 43_

The man wakes before dawn and reaches over to place his hand on his son's chest, the steady rise and fall the only thing keeping him from falling apart.

"Daddy," the little boy says, looking up at his father with eyes as blue and as inquisitive as his mother's.

"I'm here, Oliver," the man says.

"Where's Mommy?"

The man shuts his eyes against the onslaught of tears, his heart torn between hating and loving his wife. "She left."

"Is she coming back?"

"No."

"Never?"

"Never."

After a few minutes of silence, Oliver says, "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Are you leaving?"

"No."

"Never?"

"Only if the bad men take me."

"Okay."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Morning – Day 55_

For the first time ever, Alex is woken up by the fist of a four year old hitting her jaw. "What the hell?" She sits up and looks down at Oliver, who somehow managed to crawl in between herself and Olivia in the middle of the night.

"He got you too, didn't he?" Olivia asks, massaging her jaw.

Alex nods. "Nightmare?"

Olivia shrugs. "Probably."

"Do we wake him up?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes." Bracing herself for another punch, Alex says, "Oliver? Oliver, honey, you need to wake up?"

Oliver opens his eyes slowly, cringing in the bright morning sunlight. "Mommy?"

Alex smiles down at the half–asleep child. "I'm here. Did you have a bad dream?" Oliver nods. "Do you want to talk about it?" Oliver shakes his head. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm hungry," Oliver says.

Alex laughs. "Then let's go get breakfast."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Afternoon – Day 55_

Alex sits at the kitchen table, a blank piece of paper in front of her, twirling a pen in her hand, while Olivia, Oliver, and Elliot build a snow fort in the backyard.

"What are you thinking about?" Kathy asks, setting a mug of hot chocolate in front of Alex.

"We need things," Alex replies. "Supplies."

"Like?"

"Food and clothes, primarily. It's getting too cold for the clothes we have."

"We have enough food."

"For how long?"

"A couple months at two satisfactory meals a day and something small for lunch."

"Oliver's going to need more than that; he's a growing boy."

"We're going to be fine, Alex." Kathy places her hand on Alex's. "What are you really worried about?"

"What if something happens and there's no one to take care of him? He's only four; he can't take care of himself."

"I ask myself that same question every day," Kathy says, "and I still don't have an answer."

After a long, silent moment, Alex says, "This is no world to raise a child in." Kathy nods her head in agreement.

* * *

.


	11. Chapter 10

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 10

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 10

_Interior – House – Night – Day 55_

Long after everyone else in the house has fallen asleep, Alex sits on the couch wide awake, Oliver's small body curled against her. They'd had a long day and although she is exhausted, she can't seem to settle her mind.

"You need to get some sleep, Alex," Olivia says from the doorway.

"I can't," Alex responds.

"Did you try?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Two hours, according to your watch. Why are you awake?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

"The bed was too empty."

"I tried to get Oliver to go upstairs, but he didn't want to."

Olivia smiles. "He looks comfortable here."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm going to be a bad mother?"

"No."

"I can't provide anything for him."

"You can provide love."

"He needs more than that."

"We'll do the best we can."

"And if our best isn't good enough?"

Olivia shrugs. "At least we tried."

"Trying isn't good enough, Liv." Alex sighs. "He needs clothes."

Olivia crosses the room and kisses Alex's forehead. "He'll get them, babe. Don't worry."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – House – Morning – Day 57_

Alex wakes up to the smell of coffee and pancakes and quiet giggling from the other side of the closed bedroom door.

"Do you think Mommy's awake, Livia?" Oliver asks.

Olivia laughs. "I don't know, Olly. Do you want to check?"

"Yes!"

Alex smiles and pulls the blankets over her head, pretending to be asleep. She hears the door creak open and both sets of feet cross the room – Olivia's soft steps and Oliver's loud stomps. The smell of coffee is so strong that Alex has to physically resist the urge to throw off the blankets.

"She's asleep," Oliver says grumpily.

"Then wake her up," Olivia says.

In the back of her mind, Alex begins to plan every way she enact revenge on Olivia, while bracing herself for the impact that is about to come. She feels the bottom of the bed dip and hears Oliver's mischievous giggle. Right before he jumps on her, she throws the blankets off and yell, "Boo!"

Oliver shrieks and falls on the bed, laughing harder than he's ever laughed before. "Mommy," he says, throwing himself into Alex's lap, "you scared me."

"Did I?" Alex asks, laughing. "I'm sorry, honey."

"We made you breakfast, Mommy," Olivia says.

"Livia," Oliver exclaims, "she's not your mommy."

Olivia pretends to look aghast. "What do you mean?"

Oliver sits up straight. "She's my mommy," he says, jabbing his chest with his thumb.

Alex laughs. "What's this I hear about breakfast?" she asks, looking expectantly at the tray in Olivia's hands.

"Livia said you would be sad today," Oliver says, "because today's Uncle Henry's birthday.

"Livia was right," Alex says, looking at Olivia, nothing but love in her eyes.

"Why are you sad?" Oliver asks.

Looking back at Oliver, Alex says, "When me and your Uncle Henry were little kids, something bad happened to him and now he isn't around."

"Oh," Oliver says, looking down at his hands. "Did he leave like you and Daddy left?"

Alex looks at Olivia for help. Olivia sets the tray on the bedside table and sits next to Alex and Oliver on the bed. "How did your daddy leave, Olly?" Olivia asks.

Oliver shrugs. "The bad men took him."

"What bad men?" Alex asks.

"The bad men with the guns," Oliver says, closing his eyes. "Daddy said to hide and close my eyes. It was loud and scary."

Alex holds him close and rubs soothing circles on his back. "It's okay, honey."

Oliver buries his face in Alex's shirt and cries. "I was all by myself, Mommy, but Daddy said to follow the star."

"Is that how you found us?" Olivia asks. Oliver nods. "Were you in the woods?"

Oliver nods again. "I heard Mommy laugh."

Olivia nods. "I'll be right back," she says, leaving the room.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Morning – Day 57_

Elliot is sitting at the kitchen table when Olivia comes down the stairs. "Back so soon?" he asks.

"We have to check the woods," Olivia answers.

"Why?"

"That's where Oliver's dad was killed."

"He told you that?" Olivia nods. "How's he holding up?"

"Alex is comforting him."

"Is she okay?"

Olivia shrugs. "She's had better days, but she'll be all right."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"How's your leg?"

"Fine."

Elliot rolls his eyes. "Don't lie to me, Liv."

Olivia sighs. "It's a little stiff."

"Have you been doing your physical therapy?" Kathy asks, entering the room.

"Three times a day," Olivia says, smiling crookedly.

"You better be, Olivia," Kathy says, "or that leg will never work right again."

"I am, Kathy. I swear," Olivia says.

Kathy nods. "Good. Now, where are you two off to?"

"We have to check the woods for a body," Elliot answers.

"Good luck," Kathy says. "We were snowed in overnight."

Olivia sighs. "Damn it."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Bedroom, House – Morning – Day 57_

"How's your pancake?" Alex asks, finishing the last of her coffee.

"It was yours, Mommy," Oliver says, licking the butter off his fingers.

"You need it, Olly," Alex says. "Was it yummy?"

Oliver nods. "Yeah."

There is a light knock on the door and then Olivia opens it. "How was breakfast?"

"The coffee was perfect, Liv," Alex says. "Thank you."

"And the pancakes?" Olivia asks.

"Oliver ate one," Alex says, "and I had half of the other one."

"It was yummy, Livia," Oliver says. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Olly," Olivia says. "Hey, Aunty Kathy says we're snowed in today."

Oliver's eyes brighten and he jumps off the bed. "A snow day?"

"A snow day," Olivia exclaims. "Go get into your snow clothes and we'll go outside and play."

"Okay," Oliver says, running out of the room.

"What's wrong?" Alex asks as soon as the door closes behind Oliver.

"We're snowed in," Olivia says. "We can't check the woods."

"That's okay, Liv."

"Do you think Oliver will be okay?"

Alex nods. "He didn't see it, so the vision won't haunt him forever."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"With time," Alex says. "Are you hungry? I saved half a pancake for you."

Olivia shakes her head. "Give it to Oliver for lunch."

"Okay," Alex says. She sighs. "He needs to practice his writing today."

"It's a snow day, Al," Olivia says, smiling crookedly.

Alex gives Olivia a stern look. "Then we'll read with him before bed."

"He picked out _Harry Potter _while we were making breakfast," Olivia says, chuckling lightly.

Alex smiles. "The boy has good taste."

"Like his mom," Olivia says with a wink.

Alex lies back on the bed and stares up at the ceiling. "What are we going to do, Liv?"

Olivia lies next to Alex and sighs. "About?"

"Do we tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"That I'm not the mom he thinks I am."

"I don't think we need to tell him right now, Al. We can wait until he can really understand."

"Okay." Alex nods. She's quiet for a few minutes and then she says, "It's almost Christmas."

Olivia sighs longingly and looks over at Alex with a cheeky grin. "I was going to ask you to marry me."

Alex sits up and looks down at Olivia. "You were?"

Olivia smiles. "I was, but it seems pointless now."

"Why?"

"Look around, Alex. It wouldn't matter now."

"Are you always such a pessimist?"

"Are you always such an optimist?"

"Only since I met you."

A knock on the door startles both women. "Come in," Olivia says.

The door bangs open and Oliver rushes in, looking as though he is dressed in as many layers as he could possibly find. "Come on, Livia!"

Alex takes one look at him and can't stop the laughter once it starts. "He needs a snowsuit, Liv."

Olivia sighs. _Another thing to worry about_. "We'll talk about it tonight." Standing up, she says, "Okay, Olly, let's go play!"

* * *

.


	12. Chapter 11

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 11

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 11

_Interior – Alex and Olivia's Bedroom, House – Late Afternoon – Day 60_

"He's getting sick," Olivia says, attempting to drag in a mattress from one of the other bedrooms. "He can sleep in here, but he needs his own bed."

Alex nods and wraps Oliver's blanket tighter around him. "You're going to be okay," she says, kissing the top of his head. "We need a thermometer and fluids – lots of fluids."

"I think there's one in the kitchen," Elliot says from the doorway.

Olivia groans and stands up straight, stretching out her sore back. "You just gonna stand there, Stabler, or are you gonna help me move this damn thing?"

"You're grumpy tonight, Liv," Elliot says, helping Olivia move the mattress.

"Oliver hasn't been sleeping well and it's been keeping Liv awake," Alex explains.

"That's not why I'm grumpy," Olivia says. Elliot just rolls his eyes.

Once Elliot and Olivia finish moving the mattress, Alex makes up the bed and moves Oliver to it. "How are you feeling, buddy?"

Oliver groans and clings on to Alex. "Yucky."

"I know, honey," Alex says. "But you'll feel better in the morning. Try to get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Okay, Mommy," Oliver says, falling asleep almost instantly.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Late Afternoon – Day 60_

Alex runs her hand through her hair. "What if it's the Virus?"

Olivia shakes her head. "It's not."

"How do you know?"

"He'd have the sores and blisters by now."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

"How sure?"

"I took care of you when you got it, remember?"

Alex nods. "What if it's a different strain?"

Olivia sighs. "He doesn't have it, Alex."

"But-"

"We'll keep an eye on him. If the symptoms start showing up, we'll start him on antibiotics. He's going to be okay."

Alex wraps her arms around herself and turns away. "He's the only family I have left, Liv."

Olivia stands behind Alex and wraps her arms around her. "Then we'll be extra attentive."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex and Olivia's Bedroom, House – Early Morning – Day 61_

Alex doesn't sleep. Instead, she sits at the end of Oliver's bed, watching for any sign of the Virus. When Olivia's watch beeps at four o'clock, Oliver wakes up and vomits into the bucket next to his bed. Alex rubs his back and whispers soothing words. When he finishes, she helps him rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he says, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Don't be, baby," Alex says. He crawls into her lap and rests his head on her shoulder. "Where does it hurt, Olly?"

"Everywhere," Oliver says.

Alex nods and holds him against her. "You're gonna be okay, buddy."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Living Room, House – Late Morning – Day 64_

After four days of fear, Oliver's fever breaks at half past eleven in the morning. Alex could cry with happiness. Instead, she heats up some clean snow and makes him a mug of hot chocolate and continues reading _Harry Potter _to him.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"How long until Christmas?"

Alex smiles. "Three days."

"Is Santa coming?"

"Did you write him a letter?"

"Me and Livia did."

"What did you ask for?"

"Coloring books and some racecars."

"That's it?" Oliver nods. "I'm sure Santa will come, Olly."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Basement, House –Late Afternoon – Day 64_

The basement is dark and smells like paint and dirt. Olivia sifts through piles of unlabeled boxes searching for Christmas decorations or decorations of any sort just to make the holidays a little more festive for Oliver. Finally, after over two hours of searching, she comes across half a dozen boxes of assorted decorations. "Alex," she yells up the stairs. "Alex, I found them."

Alex rushes down the stairs to the basement, smiling widely. "You found the decorations?"

Olivia nods. "I did."

"Well let's put them up! Olly's going to be so happy."

"What are we going to do about gifts?"

Alex's happiness visibly deflates. "I don't know, Liv."

"Maybe there's something in these boxes."

Several hours later, Alex finds a box filled with old toys. Her face lights up and she begins pulling toys out of the box. "Jacob's Ladder, giant-sized pick-up sticks, Power Rangers action figures. Liv, look."

"Is that a pogo stick?" Olivia asks, pointing toward the corner of the basement.

Alex rolls her eyes. "Don't even think about it, Olivia Benson."

"Please?"

Alex shakes her head. "Not for Oliver."

"Can I?" Olivia asks hopefully.

"Can you wait until Spring?"

"I suppose I have to."

"Can you wait until your leg heals?"

Olivia gives Alex a crooked grin and shakes her head. "Probably not."

Alex rolls her eyes. "Do whatever you want, Liv."

Olivia looks at Alex, confused at why she's suddenly unhappy. "What's wrong?"

Alex shakes her head and shrugs half-heartedly. "I hate this," she says.

"You hate what? Alex, what are you talking about?"

"I hate that we're scrounging for toys in a stranger's basement when three months ago, I could've gone to the toy store and bought whatever Oliver wanted."

"Alex-"

"This sucks, Liv. This entire situation sucks."

"We're doing the best we can with what we have, Alex. I know it's far from ideal, but we're trying."

Dropping the toys back into the box, Alex sighs and turns for the stairs. "Maybe our best isn't good enough."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Alex and Olivia's Bedroom, House – Late Night – Day 65_

"I don't want to talk about it," Alex says, crawling into bed.

Olivia sighs angrily. "That seems to be the root of all of our problems, Alex; you never want to talk about anything."

"Don't do this, Liv."

"Don't do what, Alex? Don't call you out on something you know to be true?"

"I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight."

"You're never in the mood."

Realization hits Alex like a ton of bricks. "You're mad because you haven't been getting laid."

"What? No," Olivia says. "No, that's not why I'm mad."

"Do you really think fighting with me is going to help?"

"No, Alex. That's not-"

Alex scoffs. "You're unbelievable."

Olivia groans. "God, Alex, shut up. That's not why I'm mad."

"Then why are you mad?"

"You never want to talk about anything."

"We're talking now."

"About you not wanting to talk about anything."

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Olivia is silent for a while; so long, in fact, that Alex gives up on waiting for an answer and turns on to her side to fall asleep.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep. I suggest you do the same."

"Alex-"

"I'm not doing this with you, Liv. I'm not staying awake to argue with you over something as trivial and stupid as this. Especially not when we have a rambunctious four year old that will have us awake again in a matter of hours. So go to sleep; we can talk about it at another time."

"Fine, but we are talking about it."

"I know, Liv. I love you."

"Love you too."

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Morning – Day 66 (Christmas Eve)_

Alex sets the plate down in front of Oliver and pours him a glass of water. "Eat up, Olly."

Oliver looks at the piece of bread with peanut butter on it and scrunches his nose. "But I don't want it."

"I thought you like peanut butter."

"Can I have toast?"

Alex sighs. "We can't, buddy. I'm sorry."

Oliver looks at her, crestfallen. "Why not?"

Alex starts to say something, but stops. _Why can't he have toast? Is there a reason? The stove works. Why can't he have toast? _"I don't know, Olly."

"Can I have toast then, Mommy?"

"Yes, Oliver, you can," Alex says with a slight laugh.

Minutes later, Olivia comes into the kitchen. "I hope you plan on making me some of that too, Counselor," she says, placing a kiss on Alex's cheek. Oliver gasps and Alex turns a deep shade of red. _He was bound to find out sooner or later_, Alex thinks.

Olivia chuckles nervously and sits in the chair across from Oliver. Oliver fixes her with an icy glare that Olivia was sure only Alex was capable of.

"Use your words, Oliver," Alex says, setting his plate in front of him.

"Thank you for the toast, Mommy," Oliver says, not taking his eyes off of Olivia.

Olivia takes her plate from Alex's hands and says, "Thank you, Alex."

Alex can feel the tension between Oliver and Olivia as she sits down to eat her own breakfast. Finally, she says, "Is there something you want to say, Oliver?"

Oliver sighs dramatically. _Just like his mother, _Olivia thinks. "Do I have two mommies?" he asks.

"Do you want two mommies?" Alex asks cautiously.

Oliver shrugs. "Yeah."

Olivia breathes a sigh of relief. "Do you have any questions?" Alex asks.

Oliver nods his head. "Is tomorrow Christmas?"

Olivia laughs and Alex rolls her eyes. "Yes, Oliver, tomorrow is Christmas," Alex says.

"Okay," Oliver says, going back to eating his breakfast.

"That went well," Olivia says, loud enough for only Alex to hear her.

Alex nods in agreement. _That went too well_, she thinks.

.

* * *

.

_Interior – Living Room, House – Afternoon – Day 66_

"Livia," Oliver says, placing a decoration on the Christmas tree, "do you love my mommy?"

The question catches Olivia off-guard and she almost drops the glass ornament in her hands. "I do," she says, "very much."

Oliver nods. "Does Mommy love you?"

Olivia smiles. "She does."

"More than you love her?"

"Olly, honey," Olivia says, placing the ornament on the tree and crouching down to look into Oliver's eyes. She brushes his hair out of his eyes and says, "I don't think anybody has ever loved anyone else more than I love your mommy."

Oliver nods and hugs Olivia tightly. "I love you…Mama."

Olivia hugs him back and feels the tears well-up in her eyes. "I love you too, Olly."

* * *

.


	13. Chapter 12

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 12

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 12

_Exterior – Mid-Afternoon – Day 67_

Alex opens her eyes slowly, immediately slamming them shut against the onslaught of bright sunlight streaming in through the…through the what? She opens her eyes again, carefully this time, letting them adjust to the bright light. She looks around, trying to fully take in her surroundings while simultaneously combating the waves of pain washing over the right side of her body.

"Oliver," she calls, struggling against a weight on her chest. She tries to pull herself to a sitting position, but can't seem to move. "Liv?"

"Alex," Olivia calls back, sounding relieved and either very close or very far away. "Where's Oliver?"

Alex feels like she's drowning, like fear and panic and grief are consuming her. She struggles against the weight on her chest, finally pulling herself free with a desperate, strangled cry. She pulls herself out of the hole and looks down at her ripped, bloody clothes. She quickly scans her body for injuries and is mildly surprised to find a long, jagged gash going from her right shoulder to her left hip, like a blood, demented gash, and what appears to be a small piece of wood (probably a piece of a wooden support beam) sticking out of her abdomen just over where her gallbladder is located.

"Oh God," Alex whispers, trying to take a deep breath. She doubles over in pain and clutches at her body like she's trying to hold herself together. _A broken rib for sure_, she thinks. She stands up, her breathing shallow, and calls out for her son.

"Mommy," Oliver calls back, his voice muffled and scared. "Mommy, where are you?"

"Olly? Olly, honey, don't move; I'm coming," Alex says, using her left arm to move debris out of the way.

It takes fifty minutes and several breaks to clear enough debris to see his little, golden-haired head, and another five minutes to get her breathing and heart rate under control enough for her to see that he is unharmed, the debris creating a cradle around him.

"Oliver." She breathes his name like a sigh of relief and finds herself tearing up. "Are you hurt, baby?"

Oliver looks up at Alex and shakes his head. "I'm okay, Mommy. What happened?"

Alex closes her eyes and shakes her head, thinking back on the events that had transpired over the day. What exactly did happen?

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Alex and Olivia's Bedroom, House – Early Morning – Day 67_

"Come on, Mommy, it's time to wake up," Oliver yells, pulling the blankets off of Alex and Olivia's bed.

Alex groans and reaches for the blankets, not opening her eyes. "Oliver Henry Cabot."

Oliver pauses at the use of his full name. "Yes?"

"Is the sun out yet?"

Oliver looks out the window and sighs loudly. "Not yet, Mommy."

"Then what is the rule?"

"Don't wake Mommy and Mama up until the sun is up," he says, crawling in between Alex and Olivia.

Alex turns on her side and cuddles against him. "Go back to sleep for a little bit."

"But it's Christmas, Mommy," Oliver whines.

Alex sighs, but still smiles. "Just give me five more minutes, okay, Olly?"

Exactly five minutes later, Oliver turns to face Alex and yells, "Come on, Mommy! It's Merry Christmas time!"

Alex groans. "Merry Christmas, honey."

Oliver laughs as Alex begins to tickle him. "Merry Christmas, Mommy. Is Mama awake?"

"Not yet," Alex says, putting one finger to her lips in an effort to get him to quiet down.

Oliver smiles sheepishly and copies the movement. "Can I wake her up?" Alex nods and Oliver turns to face Olivia. "Mama," he whispers. "Mama, time to wake up."

Olivia cracks one eye open and smiles mischievously at Alex. "Do you hear something, Alex?"

"No. Do you?" Alex asks, catching on quickly to the game Olivia is playing.

"I don't think so," Olivia says.

Oliver grins and giggles. "Mommies," he whines, "it's time to get up."

"Okay, okay," Alex says, ruffling the boy's hair. "We're up."

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Morning – Day 67_

"Eat your breakfast," Alex says, lightly tapping the top of Oliver's head.

"But Mama said-"

"Oliver," Alex says, cutting him off, "eat your breakfast or we aren't opening presents." Oliver crosses his arms over his chest and looks at Alex with a glare so similar to her own that she almost smiles. Almost. "I mean it, Oliver."

Oliver starts to pout and Alex can feel her resolve wavering until Olivia walks into the room and sits in the chair across from him. "Why are you giving your Mommy so much trouble this morning?" she asks.

Oliver looks down at his plate and sighs. "I just really miss my Daddy," he says quietly.

"Come here," Olivia says, patting her uninjured knee. Oliver turns his head and looks at her for a few seconds before leaving his own chair to sit on her lap. Once he is settled and comfortable, Olivia says, "I didn't know your daddy, buddy, but I know that he misses you very much and he wishes he could be here with you, but he's also very happy that you're safe and with your mommy."

Oliver sniffles as a few tears fall from his eyes. "Are you sure?"

Olivia nods. "I am."

"How sure?"

"Very. You wanna know why?" Oliver nods. "Because my mommy and your mommy's mommy and daddy are with him. And I know they miss us very much."

"Do you miss them?" Oliver asks, addressing both Alex and Olivia.

"Yes," Alex says, "I miss them very much."

"I do," Olivia says.

"I really miss him," Oliver says, wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve.

"I know, honey," Alex says, kissing the top of Oliver's head.

"I'm sorry I was bad, Mommy."

"Oh, Olly, honey," Alex says, lifting the boy off Olivia's lap and holding him tightly. He rests his head on her shoulder and cries against her neck. "You weren't bad, sweetie. You weren't bad at all."

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Living Room, House – Morning – Day 67_

An hour later, Alex watches Olivia and Oliver dance by the Christmas tree in the living room. "That," she says, looking at the tree, "is a sad excuse for a Christmas tree."

She's not wrong. The tree is no more than four and a half feet tall and missing several of its branches, leaving it bald in several places, even with the decorations covering it.

Olivia laughs and Oliver beams in Alex's direction, smiling harder than Alex has ever seen. "Do you like it, Mommy?" he asks.

Alex, unable to deny her son his happiness especially when he is looking at her like her approval means everything, picks Oliver up and kisses the tip of his nose. "It's beautiful, baby. I love it."

"She likes it, Mama," he yells to Olivia, who smiles in response.

"Okay, everyone," Elliot says, showing up in the doorway with an old Polaroid instant camera. "Picture time."

Olivia laughs. "Where'd you find that old thing?"

Elliot shrugs. "A box in the basement. Now get over there with Alex and Oliver so I can take a picture."

Olivia crosses the room and puts her arm around Alex's waist. Alex leans against Olivia, a smiling Oliver perched on her hip. The flash goes off and Oliver laughs at the white spots that dot his vision. Elliot hands the picture to Alex and she watches as it develops.

The picture is perfect, absolutely perfect, and Alex can't stop the few tears that fall from her eyes. Maybe they don't need anything but each other for life to be worthwhile.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Early Afternoon – Day 67_

Olivia and Kathy make Christmas dinner, not trusting Alex and Elliot to keep the food edible.

"How are you feeling?" Kathy asks, speaking for the first time in the forty-five minutes she and Olivia have been in the kitchen.

Olivia shrugs. "Tired," she says, looking outside where Alex and Oliver are building a snowman.

"It gets easier," Kathy says after a moment. "The nightmares become less frequent, he'll start to sleep through the night most nights, if not every night."

"It's hard."

Kathy smiles sadly. "If anyone can do it, it's you and Alex." Olivia smiles gratefully and turns back to continue working on dinner.

Their Christmas feast is certainly not the way it would've been made the previous year, but it is a feast nonetheless. Elliot leads them in saying grace and Oliver remembers to use his manners the way Alex is teaching him and Olivia doesn't start a food fight like she tried to do the year before. Kathy, however, is on the verge of tears throughout the entire meal, and after everyone finishes eating, she and Elliot disappear to their bedroom to go through a photo album.

"They miss their kids," Alex says, watching Oliver try to figure out his Jacob's Ladder. Olivia just grunts in agreement.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Living Room, House – Afternoon – Day 67_

When all is said and done, presents are opened, wrapping paper is folded and placed in a box to be put in the fireplace later, and dinner has been eaten, Kathy and Alex watch Elliot and Olivia fight over a riveting game of Chutes and Ladders, while Oliver tries to fall asleep curled up against Alex's side.

"You're a damn cheater, Elliot," Olivia yells, flicking his piece off the board.

"Shut up, Liv. I am not," Elliot yells, placing his game piece back on the board.

Olivia throws his piece clear across the room. "You are. You always cheat."

"I do not," Elliot yells, flipping the game over.

"Enough," Alex yells. "This is no way to play a game in front of a child. What are you trying to teach him?"

The pair looks sheepishly down at their laps. "He's a cheater," Olivia says.

"I am not," Elliot insists.

"Put it away," Kathy says. "If you're not going to play fair, you're not going to play at all."

"Honestly," Alex says, rolling her eyes, "you two are worse than children."

"Yeah," Oliver says, the commotion waking him up. "You guys have to play right." The second he is done speaking, he falls asleep, making the adults erupt in laughter.

Until the trembling starts. At first it sounds like a train the far-off distance, but as it nears, it gets louder and the trembling gets stronger and stronger. The house is shaking, Oliver is crying, then a piece of the ceiling falls, followed by another and another.

Until the whole house is collapsing on them.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Mid-Afternoon – Day 67_

"It was an earthquake, honey," Alex says. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am, Mommy. Where's Mama?"

Alex opens her eyes and looks around, noticing for the first time that she is on top of a pile of debris. Less than five feet away from her is the last standing wall of their house. "Liv?"

Olivia coughs and pushes a piece of the roof off of her. "I'm okay, Al."

Alex smiles to herself. "Can you see Elliot and Kathy?" Olivia is silent, too silent for Alex's liking. "Liv?"

"No," Olivia says. "No, I don't see them."

Alex feels a familiar pang of fear in her chest. "Damn it."

.

* * *

.


	14. Chapter 13

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 13

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: There are a couple Grey's Anatomy quotes in here. I don't own them.

.

* * *

Chapter 13

_Exterior – Mid-Afternoon – Day 67_

A groan makes its way up from somewhere deep inside the debris pile. "Elliot?" Olivia calls. "Kathy?"

Another groan makes its way up, shortly followed by Elliot's gruff voice saying, "We're fine. A few cuts and scrapes, but nothing major. You guys okay? How's Oliver?"

Olivia looks over at Alex who gives her a short nod. "He's fine," Olivia says.

The ground starts to tremble with an aftershock, jarring the pile of debris they once called a house. Alex slips effortlessly into the hole she created to find Oliver, quickly covering her son's small body with her own. Pieces of debris fall around them, occasionally pelting Alex's back and shoulders. One particularly large piece of roofing or wall falls, crashing into Alex and knocking her down. She pushes herself up quickly, her left hand going to her abdomen to feel the injury there. She is dismayed to find the piece of wood has been pushed further in.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Oliver asks, noticing the bloodstain beginning to spread down the front of his mother's shirt.

Alex smiles – well, she tries to, but the result is more of a grimace. "I'm okay, honey."

Oliver uses the debris surrounding him to push himself up and kiss Alex's cheek. "Don't worry, Mommy. Mama will save us."

Tears sting Alex's eyes and she blinks them back quickly. "I know, baby."

Once the shaking subsides, Olivia is on her shaky legs, moving slowly over the piled remnants of their house. Peering into the hole Alex and Oliver are safely housed in, she says, "Don't worry; I'm going to get you out."

Oliver looks up at Olivia, his blue eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. "You gotta hurry, Mama," he says. "Mommy's real hurt."

Olivia feels her blood run cold. "What's hurting her, Olly?"

Oliver looks back at Alex, carefully scrutinizing the wound in her abdomen. "Something in her belly," he says, looking back up at Olivia.

Olivia runs her hand through her short hair, the memory of Alex cutting it quickly replaying in her mind.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Kitchen, House – Morning – Day 57_

Frustrated, Alex slams the scissors down on the kitchen table. "Do you want me to stab you in the head?"

Olivia turns in her chair and looks up at the blonde, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Not really."

"Then sit still."

Olivia groans and faces forward in her chair, allowing Alex to continue cutting her hair. Ten minutes later, Alex sets the scissors on the table and holds a mirror in front of Olivia.

Olivia could complain – really, she could – but there's something so innocent, so pure about the smile on Alex's face that she bites back the gasp she was going to let out and mirrors Alex's smile with one of her own.

"What do you think?" Alex asks.

"It's" – Olivia sighs – "Alex, have you ever cut hair before?"

Alex lightly bites her bottom lip and thinks back to the last time she cut anyone's hair. "Once. I was seven, Henry was ten. He put gum in his hair and the nanny was nowhere to be found."

"So you took a pair of scissors and cut it out?"

Alex nods, laughing lightly. "Mom and Dad were so mad."

Olivia takes another look in the mirror, deciding the haircut really isn't that bad, even if half of her hair is shorter than the other half. "You did a fine job, Al."

Alex beams and places a chaste kiss on Olivia's lips. "Now I have to do Oliver's."

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Mid-Afternoon – Day 67_

Olivia drops into the cavern and grins at an excited Oliver. "How do you want to do this?" she asks, kneeling next to Alex.

Alex coughs harshly, too harshly if the pain radiating through her body is any indication, and sits up. "Oliver first," she says, wrapping her arm protectively around her abdomen.

Olivia nods and picks up the little boy. "When you get to the top," she says, lifting Oliver to the edge of the opening, "go straight down to Uncle Elliot and Aunty Kathy. Okay?" Oliver nods and Olivia gives him the final push needed to clear the ledge. He stands up, his legs shaking, and runs down the debris hill.

"Got him, Liv," Elliot yells.

"Thanks, El," Olivia yells back. She sits next to Alex and wrests her hand on the blonde's thigh. "We have to get you out of here."

Alex coughs again and shakes her head. "I'm going to die, Liv."

Olivia tenses up, her stomach churning. "You're not going to die, Alexandra Cabot," she says, reiterating the words Alex said to her just three weeks prior. She presses a kiss to Alex's forehead and whispers, "You're not going to die."

"You're sure?" Alex's voice is weak – weaker, even, than when she had contracted the Virus.

"I am. God, Alex, I'm so sure. You're going to grow old with me, maybe we'll find a couple more kids, and we're going to watch Oliver grow up and have his own kids. We're going to have grandkids, Al. Grandkids! And then we're going to die together when we're old and gray. Together, Alex. But not now. God, not now. But you. Cannot. Give up." Tears fall freely from Olivia's eyes. She clutches desperately to Alex's hand, sending silent prayers to every god she knows of to keep Alex alive.

Alex smiles softly and closes her eyes, resting her head against Olivia's shoulder. "Love you…so much."

"No," Olivia says. "No, you can't die. We're gonna have the best life, Alex. The best life. You and me. We're gonna be so happy. So you can't die, okay? You can't die." Olivia feels rather than hears Alex's breathing become shallow. The blood rushing in her ears is paralyzing; she knows she's speaking but she can't hear the words she's saying. "Alex. It's okay, Alex. Alex, look at me. It's okay, sweetheart. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, Alex. You're gonna be okay. Alex, you're gonna be okay. Look at me. You're gonna be just fine. You're gonna be just fine. Now, just stay with me." Even as Olivia says the words, she knows they're futile; Alex is gone.

…

* * *

…

_When Alex opens her eyes she is laying in the middle of a grassy field. She sits up, smiling in the warm, spring air. To her right is a small lake, to her left is a large oak tree with a figure standing underneath it._

_She stands up, moving slowly through the field. As she approaches the tree, the figure turns around, a dazzling smile already gracing his features._

"_Henry," Alex exclaims, throwing her arms around the boy. No, not a boy. A man. She lets him go and takes a step back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "You're here."_

"_I'm here," Henry says, flashing her the same cocky grin her would use when they were kids and they were about to do something incredibly stupid and/or incredibly dangerous._

_Alex can't help but smile back. She looks at him, comparing the boy he was to the man he has become. His eyes, wide and blue like her own, still hold that childlike excitement from all those years ago. His golden hair, several shades darker than the platinum it was when they were kids, is shorter now, more like a soldier's. In fact, everything about him screams soldier: the way he holds himself, the shape of his body, the way his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes._

"_Army," he says, startling her out of her thoughts._

_Alex looks at her brother, pure confusion written all over her face. Had she spoken aloud? "You're a soldier?"_

_Henry beams at her, instantly snapping to attention. "Corporal Henry Jacob Cabot the Third, at your service."_

_Alex pulls Henry into another hug and sighs. "Mom and Dad would be so proud."_

"_We are," a voice says from behind her._

_Alex lets go of her brother and spins around, completely unable to hold in the gasp of shock. Standing in front of her are her parents. "Mom," she says, pulling both her mom and dad into a hug, "Dad, what are you doing here?"_

"_The real question," her father says, "is: What are you doing here, Alex?"_

"_What do you mean?" Alex asks. "I woke up here."_

_Her mother and father exchange a look. "You can't be here, Alex," her mother says. "You have to go back."_

"_Back?" Alex asks, feeling panic rise in her chest. "Back to where?"_

"_Home," Henry says. "You have to go home."_

_Before Alex has a chance to respond, a strong gust if air blows in and knocks her down. She winces in pain as her body collides with the ground, and when she opens her eyes, she is alone in a black room. Two lights pop on at opposite ends of the room, each over their own door. To her left is an ornate wooden door; to her right is a simple door._

"_Go home, Alex," Henry's voice says. "Go home."_

_Alex scrambles to her feet and looks around for her brother. "Where am I?" she asks. "Please."_

"_Go home, Alex," Henry says again._

_Alex waits for a few minutes, hoping her family will reappear in front of her. When it is evident that they won't, she wanders over to the door to her left, the smell of fresh cookies, and the sound of laughter attracting her. As she nears the door, the smell turns to burnt flesh and the laughing turns to horrific screams. Decaying hands reach through the door, grasping blindly for Alex. She screams and stumbles back, stabilizing herself against the opposite door._

_The smell coming through this door is that of a New England winter – pure and innocent – but it is the sound that truly attracts her: It's Olivia, crying deep all-consuming tears. Alex presses her ear to the door and waits, but she cannot make out any of the words coming through. Curious, she pushes the door open._

_And then she is falling._

…

* * *

…

The pain radiating through her body is intense and paralyzing. Alex tries to open her eyes, but she cannot get her body to cooperate. _Liv? _she thinks. _Liv, help me. _Her pleas go unnoticed by the detective, and try as she might, she cannot get her body to move.

Then she coughs.

* * *

.


	15. Chapter 14

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 14

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 14

"**There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush. The clouds will part. The rain will stop. The sky will clear in an instant. And only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it." – Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy, season 9 episode 24.**

…

* * *

...

_Exterior – Evening – Day 69_

In the center of a hurricane is a phenomenon dubbed the "eye of the storm." In the eye, the skies are clear and the winds are relatively light. It is the calmest section of the hurricane.

For Alex, the eye of the storm is peaceful; there is no pain, no worrying, no wondering if she is going to die. All is right. For Alex, the eye of the storm lasts fifteen seconds. Fifteen wonderful seconds.

Then the pain comes back.

She can feel her body begging to contract, begging for release from the wretched pain, but it has been nearly fifty hours since she last moved. She has not opened her eyes, has not spoken, has not made a sound since that last cough nearly fifty hours ago.

"Is Mommy gonna be okay?" she can hear Oliver ask.

Olivia sighs and Alex can feel it penetrating the haze of pain in her mind. It's a deep sigh, the sigh of someone who is clinging so desperately to a glimmer of hope. "Your Mommy is strong, Olly."

"But will she be okay?"

Alex wants to scream, wants to jump up and hug her son and kiss her girlfriend. She wants to tell them that she's okay, that everything is okay. But her body refuses to obey her commands, so she lies there, listening to the steady in and out of Oliver's breathing.

"I hope so," Olivia says after a long while.

Alex can feel Oliver nod his head as he lays against her, and she wants so desperately to lean over and kiss the top of his head that she blocks out the rest of the world and focuses solely on getting the acetylcholine from her brain to her muscles.

She can feel the energy coursing through her body. She knows she could get her body to move if she just concentrates hard enough. But, alas, there is no movement and Alex remains trapped in the prison that is her body.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Night – Day 69_

When Alex wakes up, it is completely dark. She blinks several times, trying to help her eyes adjust to the darkness. Then she pauses. Blinking again, she lets out a quiet gasp and struggles to sit up, the pain from her abdomen radiates throughout her body and makes the movement much harder than usual.

Feeling movement beside her, Olivia is awake, sitting up, and helping Alex within seconds. "Welcome back," she says, resting her hand on Alex's cheek.

Alex smiles and leans into the touch. "How long?" she asks. Her voice is deep and raspy from lack of use, but Olivia doesn't think she's ever heard a more pleasant sound.

"Nearly sixty hours."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I died, Liv."

Olivia nods. "For less than a minute."

Alex shakes her head, but immediately regrets the action when a wave of nausea hits her. She fights it down by focusing on her breathing and decides not to move too quickly again. "It was longer than that."

"It wasn't, Al. I promise."

They are quiet for a few minutes, but Alex can feel the tension and the unanswered questions in the air. She shivers involuntarily and Olivia is there immediately, wrapping a strong arm and a blanket around Alex's shoulders.

"You can ask," Alex whispers.

"What?"

"That question you're holding back; you can ask it."

Olivia feels like she could be sick; she knows exactly which question Alex is referring to – it's resting on the tip of her tongue, but she won't ask it, she _can't _ask it. "No. Al, no."

"Liv, please. I need you to do this for me."

Olivia's heart is breaking, she's sure of it; never before has she heard such pleading, such vulnerability, such desperation in her girlfriend's voice. She takes a steadying breath and asks, "Where did you go? When you died, Alex, where did you go?"

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Early Morning – Day 70_

"Did you want to stay?" Olivia asks, wiping some dirt off Alex's face.

Alex grabs Olivia's hand and presses her lips to Olivia's palm. "I did," she says, "but only for a minute and only because I missed them so much." She looks up from her spot in Olivia's lap and smiles, resting her hand on Olivia's face. "You brought me back, Liv. You saved me."

Olivia looks away from Alex's face, turning her gaze to the small opening in the top of their makeshift tent. The sunlight is streaming in, taking some of the chill out of the cold morning air. Unsurprisingly, a memory Olivia is very fond of rises unbidden to the front of her mind.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Woods behind Hampton Inn, North Conway, New Hampshire – Shortly before Sunset – July 14, 2001_

"Where are we going?" Alex asks, reaching up to pull at the blindfold Olivia had put over her eyes.

Olivia swats away Alex's hands and sighs impatiently. "I already told you it's a surprise." Alex groans and lets Olivia guide her through the forest.

Olivia's hands on the smooth skin on Alex's arms means Alex can feel the rough calluses on Olivia's hands – made from years of pull-ups, police work, and guitar playing. Olivia subconsciously rubs circles with her thumb on Alex's arm, making Alex shiver involuntarily.

"Little cold there, Counselor?" Olivia asks, her voice deeper than usual. Alex's mind goes blank; she suddenly wishes Olivia would forget about this harebrained idea and take her back to the hotel room. As if she knows what Alex is thinking, Olivia laughs. "Later. For now, we're here." Olivia removes the blindfold and Alex has to gasp at the beauty in front of her.

The clearing is small, no bigger than a king-size mattress. Trees stand tall like sentinel, protecting it on all four sides. A large boulder sits in the opposite corner from where Alex and Olivia stand. Late afternoon sunlight filters through the leaves of the trees, hitting the grass and making it look like it is glistening with dew.

"It's beautiful," Alex whispers, not wanting to disturb the sanctity of the clearing. "How'd you find it?"

"You went to the gym this morning when you thought I was still asleep" – Olivia shrugs – "I came out here."

Alex smiles. "It's beautiful."

Olivia wraps her arms around Alex's waist and pulls her close. "I love you," she whispers with such reverence, such conviction, that Alex knows it's more than just a statement; it's a promise, a thank you, a home, and a forever all wrapped up into three words.

"I love you too," Alex whispers back, and Olivia knows that Alex is making all the same promises.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Early Morning – Day 70_

Olivia looks back down at Alex and shakes her head. "You saved me," she whispers, "the day after your cousin's wedding."

"In the clearing?"

Olivia nods. "In the clearing." She smiles fondly. "I knew then, you know."

"Knew what?"

"That I want to be with you forever."

There is a rustling beside them before Oliver's sleep-laden voice says, "Mama" – he sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes – "who are you talking to?"

"Look," Olivia says, nodding down at Alex.

Oliver's eyes widen and an ecstatic smile graces his features. "Mommy," he exclaims. "You're awake." He goes to jump on her, but is stopped by Olivia's hand on his chest. "What?"

"Mommy still has an ouchie on her tummy," Olivia says, "so no jumping for a while."

Oliver nods and sits on the ground next to Alex. "Is this okay?" he asks, taking hold of her hand.

Alex smiles, resting her free hand on her son's face. "It's perfect, baby."

"I missed you, Mommy," Oliver says. "You can't go to sleep again."

"I won't, honey."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

.


	16. Chapter 15

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 15

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

Author's Note 2: I just want to thank all of you for the reviews. You guys are truly the best. Also, please keep in mind that I am not a doctor. If any of the information included in this chapter is wrong, feel free to let me know.

.

* * *

Chapter 15

"**Love is the most human of all emotions because love is messy. And of all the things we can feel with our minds and bodies, severe pain is the purest, for it drives everything else from our awareness and focuses us as perfectly as we can ever be focused." – Dean Koontz, **_**Dark Rivers of the Heart: A Novel**_

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Mid-Afternoon – Day 67_

The pain radiating through her body is intense and paralyzing. Alex tries to open her eyes, but she cannot get her body to cooperate. _Liv? _she thinks. _Liv, help me. _Her pleas go unnoticed by the detective, and try as she might, she cannot get her body to move.

Then she coughs.

As soon as she hears the cough, all of Olivia's movements are instinctive and deliberate. She moves Alex slowly and carefully, paying close attention to the wood sticking out of Alex's abdomen, from the slumped sitting position to lying on her side in case the cough produces anything Alex could aspirate on. And sure enough, the second time Alex coughs, a small trail of blood leaks from the corner of her mouth.

"Kathy," Olivia yells. "Kathy, I need you up here right now."

At the panic and urgency in Olivia's voice, Kathy braves the unstable mountain of rubble, stepping only where the pile looks packed enough. When she makes it to the top, she looks into the cavern to see Olivia's bloodstained hands working to stop the blood from seeping out around Alex's abdominal wound.

"Okay," Kathy says, lowering herself into the hole. "What've we got?"

Olivia brushes her hair off her forehead, smearing blood on her face in the process. "I don't…I don't know. Kathy, I don't know."

Kathy gently squeezes Olivia's shoulder and gives her a small smile. "That's okay. What can you tell me?"

"She needs your help," Olivia says, moving her hands so Kathy can see the wound in Alex's abdomen.

Kathy nods, taking in as much of Alex's predicament as she can. Something metal – a piece of the gutter, probably – cut through Alex's shirt in an almost perfect diagonal line from her right shoulder to her left hip; the skin on her right shoulder is splayed open to reveal the muscle and tendons. Kathy notices Alex shallow breathing and the wood sticking out of her abdomen next. She looks back up at Alex's face and sees the blood on her lips. Something clicks and Kathy springs into action.

Standing up, Kathy yells down to Elliot to start moving some of the debris. Looking back at Olivia, she says, "We have to get her to a stable area."

"How?" Olivia asks, looking around the debris-made cavern. "We can't lift her out of here; we don't know the extent of her injuries."

"Liv," Kathy says, looking into Olivia's eyes, "that may be our only choice. I suspect her rib is broken and it's causing a simple pneumothorax."

"A what?"

"Collapsed lung."

"Could that kill her?"

"In minutes, yes, if it's bad enough and goes untreated."

Olivia runs her hand through her hair and sighs. "What do you need me to do?"

"We have to move her out of here. Is there something we can set her on so we can stabilize her and lift her out of here?"

Olivia shrugs. "She was trapped under a…a door or something. That could work."

Kathy nods. "Get it, but be quick. I don't know how severe her injuries are."

Olivia climbs out of the hole with ease. Stepping carefully, she finds the door and lowers it down to Kathy, quickly followed by her own body which lands with a soft thud two feet away.

Olivia and Kathy carefully move Alex to the door, careful not to jostle her too much or leave her on her back for too long. Alex coughs again, sending another line of blood out of the corner of her mouth.

"We don't have time," Kathy says, dropping to her knees beside Alex. She pulls at Alex's shredded shirt, quickly and carefully exposing her torso.

Completely uncovered, Alex's wounds look nauseating, to put it nicely. The opening on her shoulder is frayed, more like she had been attacked with a seam ripper than cut with a straight-edged piece of metal. A large, purple and blue bruise covers the right side of her torso. When Kathy's eyes finally land on Alex's abdomen, she has to work hard to stifle a gasp. The piece of wood is at least and inch thick and an undeterminable length, but Kathy figures it must be at least two inches long since an inch and a half is sticking out of Alex's abdomen and the wood is still firmly stuck inside her.

"Can you get the supplies from Elliot?" Kathy asks. "He should've unburied them by now."

Olivia nods and climbs out of the hole. She returns forty seconds later with two blue duffel bags. "This was all he could grab on his own."

"Okay." Kathy nods. "What's in them?"

"Penlights, scalpels, suture kits, a stethoscope–"

"Give me the stethoscope." Olivia hands Kathy the stethoscope and Kathy presses the diaphragm to Alex's chest, listening closely for any breath sounds. She pulls the ear pieces out of her ears and drops the stethoscope to the ground beside her. "Breath sounds are diminished," she says to herself. "Liv, I need a fourteen-gauge cannula, the largest finger of a rubber glove, lidocaine gel, gauze, and some tape."

"What are you going to do?" Olivia asks, searching through the bags to find the items Kathy asked for. As she finds them, she sets them in a row by Kathy's hands.

"I'm going to try to fix her pneumothorax." Kathy slits open the top of the finger of the glove and slides the cannula in through the larger opening so the needle slides through the slit at the top. She makes a seal by winding tape around the glove finger and the plastic piece at the end of the cannula. Looking at her makeshift valve, she nods and says, "You don't have to watch, Liv."

Olivia shakes her head. "Just do it, Kathy."

"Okay," Kathy says. She quickly wipes her hands with an antiseptic wipe and pulls on a pair of gloves. Applying some lidocaine gel to Alex's abdomen, she takes another deep breath and positions the cannula at a ninety-degree angle in the space between Alex's second and third ribs and pushes the needle in.

The needle slides in quickly and easily, and the sudden gush of air relieves Kathy.

"It's done?" Olivia asks.

Kathy nods. "It's done. Can you hand me some gauze?" Olivia nods and opens a pack of gauze, handing the small squares to Kathy. Kathy packs the gauze around the cannula and tapes them down to protect it from getting dislodged.

"Now what?" Olivia asks, already rummaging through the duffel bags for anything Kathy may need.

Kathy clicks on the penlight Olivia set next to her and tries to get a better look at Alex's abdominal wound. "Her shoulder," she decides, clicking off the penlight. "It seems to be worse than her abdomen, so the faster I get that closed, the better off she'll be."

Olivia nods. "What do you need?"

Kathy reviews the list in her mind before recounting it to Olivia. "Suture kit, gauze, adhesive wound closure strips, lidocaine gel, and antiseptic wipes."

Again, Olivia finds these supplies quickly; the time she had spent sifting through the bags and learning the names and uses for each instrument while stuck on bed rest until her leg healed quickly becoming an invaluable asset.

Kathy cleans Alex's wound thoroughly, feeling bad for the severe stinging sensation she knows Alex must be feeling, but she also knows that a wound that severe can become infected and kill Alex in a matter of days.

Stuck in a perpetual state of awe at how well and efficient the other woman works, Olivia watches Kathy stitch Alex's skin back together. When she finishes, Kathy smiles at her handiwork. She sets down the sutures, cleans the wound a second time, and covers the sutures with a gauze bandage.

"It's going to scar," Kathy says. "But at least she's alive."

Olivia nods. "At least she's alive."

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Early Morning – Day 71_

Olivia wakes up covered in a cold sweat, the last words of her dream still echoing in her mind. Moving slowly, she feels the weight on her stomach start to shift.

"Liv," Alex whispers, "what are you doing up so early?"

"Nothing," Olivia says, reaching to brush Alex's hair out of her eyes. "Just had a nightmare; go back to sleep."

Alex opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings. Light from the moon filters in through their makeshift tent, illuminating the inside just enough for Alex to make out Olivia's face and Oliver's sleeping form beside her. The air is biting cold and with her right arm still in a homemade sling, Alex finds it impossible to pull her wool blanket over her head. She shrugs her right shoulder in a vain attempt to pull the blanket up, but only succeeds in sending a shooting pain through her shoulder. Bracing herself, she clenches her jaw, tightens the muscle in her shoulder, and slams her eyes shut as she rides out wave after wave of pain.

Olivia brushes Alex's hair off her face and wipes away the sweat on Alex's forehead with her shirtsleeve. "You're okay," she whispers. "Just breathe, Al. You'll be okay."

As the pain begins to subside, Alex lets out a shuddering breath. "Hurts," she groans.

"I can give you more painkillers now," Olivia says, reaching for the knapsack by her pillow.

"No," Alex says, shaking her head slowly. "It makes me foggy. I don't want–" She tenses up as another wave of pain wracks her body.

Olivia presses a kiss to Alex's forehead. "You'll feel better."

Alex presses her left hand to the gauze bandage on her abdomen and tries to smile. "I feel better already," she says.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "You and I both know that's a lie, Alex."

"I'll take it later if the pain gets any worse, Liv."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay." Olivia nods. "Try to get some sleep, Alex."

"Tell me what your nightmare was about first."

Olivia sighs and, knowing she won't win this argument, she says, "It wasn't really a nightmare."

"What was it?"

"Memories," Olivia says. "Just memories."

"You don't need to go it alone, Liv. I'm right here."

"You almost weren't though, Alex," Olivia says a little too loudly. Oliver begins to stir, but Olivia calms him down by rubbing soothing circles on his back. "You almost weren't."

Alex sits up, her entire body protesting the movement, and moves slowly until she is resting against Olivia's side. "But I am, Liv. And Oliver is. And you are. We're safe – all of us." She presses a kiss to Olivia's cheek. "We're safe; you can relax now."

"Safe," Olivia mumbles. "What a concept." _What a concept, indeed._

.

* * *

Author's Note 3: I don't know whether or not a nurse could do all of that, but I figure the ones on Grey's Anatomy could because they've seen basically everything. So I modeled Kathy after a Grey's Anatomy nurse.


	17. Chapter 16

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 16

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of September 11th attacks.

.

* * *

Chapter 16

_Exterior – Afternoon – Day 71_

"Jesus" – Olivia sighs, zipping her jacket up to her chin and pulling her winter hat down over her ears – "it's like trudging through the damn tundra out here."

Elliot laughs. "I don't think the tundra has trees, Liv."

"Shut up, Elliot," Olivia says, shooting him a dirty look. "What are we supposed to be looking for anyway?"

"Anything we can save and wood we can burn."

"Okay" – Olivia nods – "where do we start?"

"You wanna take the side closest to camp and I'll take the further side?"

"No. I'll take the further side."

"Are you sure? That's where…"

"I know, Elliot, and I'm sure. I need to see it."

"Right now?"

"No better time than the present," Olivia says. With faux confidence, she smiles and walks off to the opposite end of the pile of rubble.

With every step, Olivia's stomach sinks lower and lower. Her palms sweat in her gloves and each step is heavy, like her boots are made of cement. She finds her footing on the pile easily, having made this same trip nearly a dozen times. She climbs up slowly, noting the exact position and location of each piece of salvageable wood. At the top, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, stealing herself against the carnage she is about to see. She opens her eyes and lowers herself down into the hole.

Dried blood, ruddy brown and red and opaque, is everywhere. Discarded medical supplies lay abandoned around the door, like leaves after a hurricane. And the door…the door rests in the center of the hole, Alex's blood adorning it like something from a nightmare. The smell of copper is heavy in the cold air. Olivia fights down the urge to be sick as memories play before her eyes.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Olivia's Apartment – Morning – Day of Impact_

"Alex," Olivia says, "you have to see this."

Alex crawls out from underneath the table and stands up. She crosses the apartment and looks out the window.

The sky is dark – darker than it gets during most storms – and there is a crack through the center of the street. Parked cars are on their sides, some are completely overturned. Bottom-floor windows are blown out. The emptiness of the street is eerily reminiscent of the days following the September 11th attacks.

"Where are you going?" Alex asks, feeling Olivia walk away from her side.

"The precinct," Olivia says, rummaging through the closet in her bedroom.

"What?" Alex says. "No. You're not leaving me here to worry."

"Then come with me."

"What? Liv, we don't know what happened out there."

Olivia comes out of the bedroom, her blue NYPD jacket draped over her arm, and her gun and badge already clipped to her belt. "It was an earthquake or something, Al."

"Regardless–"

"I'm going, Alex," Olivia says, kissing Alex's lips. "You can come with me or you can stay here; the choice is yours."

"I'm going with you."

Forty minutes later, Alex and Olivia walk through the precinct's double doors.

"What are you two doing here?" Elliot asks, tightening the straps of his Kevlar vest.

"What are _we _doing here?" Olivia asks. "What are _you_ doing here? You were supposed to be home with your family today."

"So were you."

"My family's here," Olivia says, nodding to Alex. "What are you doing here, Elliot?"

"Getting this," Elliot says, tapping his Kevlar vest.

"Why?"

"Building collapse in Midtown," Captain Cragen says, coming out of his office. "They want all available officers."

The change in Olivia is instant. Taking her jacket off, she pulls her vest on over her t-shirt and rushes out of the squadroom, her mind focused solely on the task ahead of her.

Alex rolls her eyes and drums her fingers against Olivia's desk. Olivia quickly backtracks into the squadroom and kisses Alex.

"I thought you forgot," Alex says, smiling to herself.

"About you?" Olivia shakes her head. "Never."

Alex's smile fades and she clutches tightly to Olivia's hand. "You come back," she says. "You come back to me tonight, Olivia Benson, in one piece. Don't you dare die."

Olivia flashes her a crooked smile. "I'll try my best."

"I mean it, Liv."

"I know, Al." She kisses Alex once more. "I'll see you tonight."

"Be safe."

"Always," Olivia says, heading out of the squadroom.

"And put your damn jacket on," Alex calls after her. All she gets in return is a wave of Olivia's hand.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – New York Public Library, Midtown – Late Morning – Day of Impact _

Inspector Anthony Battaglia from the Midtown North Precinct is a burly man with slicked-down black hair and a holier-than-thou attitude. "Detectives Benson and Stabler?" he asks, peering at them over the top of his sunglasses.

"Yes," Olivia says stiffly. Elliot nudges her with his elbow. She just shoots him a dirty look.

"Our Captain sent us," Elliot says. "He said you need bodies."

Battaglia grunts. "Looks like it," he says, tilting his head toward the toppled building. "Rescue squad's two hours out."

"What do you need us for?" Olivia asks, even though she already knows where this conversation is headed.

"You're small, Detective Benson," Battaglia says, taking off his glasses and appraising Olivia.

"No" – Elliot shakes his head – "you're not sending her in there."

Battaglia rolls his eyes. "Last I checked, Detective Stabler, this was my operation."

"Send in an officer that doesn't have someone waiting for them at home."

"Stand down, Detective Stabler, unless you'd like me to write you up for insubordination."

"Take a walk, El," Olivia says, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I can do this."

"I know you can, Liv." Elliot chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. "I'm more afraid of what Alex will do when she finds out about this."

Olivia grins. "Then we won't let her find out."

"Have you two come to some sort of consensus yet?" Battaglia asks, looking bored.

"Yeah" – Olivia nods – "I'm gonna do it."

Battaglia smiles widely and claps Olivia's shoulder. "That's what I like to hear. Now, let's get you suited up."

The extrication suit of bright orange and reinforced with Kevlar felt. Olivia slips off her jacket and vest and pulls on the suit, noting that it is heavier than she expected and fits too loosely for her comfort. She pulls on her boots, tucking the legs of the suit into them, and ties them tightly. She flattens out her collar and pulls at the sleeves, wishing they weren't causing her to feel itchy.

"Ready?" Elliot asks, pulling his partner to her feet.

Olivia shrugs. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"You don't have to do this," he says, placing the yellow construction helmet on Olivia's head and buckling the strap under her chin.

"I can handle this, Elliot," Olivia says, reassuringly flashing him a cocky smile. "I'm New York's Finest for a reason."

Elliot doesn't laugh. "You're not part of the rescue squad, Liv. You didn't train for this."

"I can do it and I'm already here. Elliot, the faster I get in there, the faster survivors get out." She picks up her jacket and rummages through it. Pulling a little blue box out of the pocket, she holds it out for Elliot to take and says, "If something should happen to me, I need you to give this to Alex. Can you do that, Elliot?"

Elliot shakes his head and pushes Olivia's hand away. "Do it yourself."

"I'm serious, Elliot."

"So am I. Do it yourself, Liv, because everything's going to be fine."

"Take the damn box, Stabler."

Elliot rolls his eyes, but takes the box from Olivia's outstretched hand. "Fine, but when you come out of there, don't expect me to keep holding it."

"Just make sure Alex gets it if anything happens to me."

"Liv–"

"Just make sure, Elliot."

"I will."

Olivia nods once. "I'll radio in if I find anyone." She begins the descent into the dark rubble-filled hole that used to be the New York Public Library. "See you soon, El."

Elliot snaps to attention and salutes her. "Godspeed, Liv."

Groaning inwardly, Olivia readjusts her hat for the sixth time in fifteen minutes. Her flashlight flickers ominously with the movement, but steadies when she rights her arm. The beam hits the remaining pieces of broken pillars still standing in their former glory, the cracked and shattered white marble symbolizing how fragile the promise of tomorrow really is.

Directly in front of her is the door to the children's reading room. She knows in her gut that survivors are in that room, perhaps hiding under the long purple table, sure that help is on its way, but her mind focuses solely on the door and the blood coating the face of it.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Afternoon – Day 71_

"Liv," Elliot says, standing at the top of the hole. "Liv, come back. Liv!"

Olivia comes back slowly, the ghost of her memory still playing before her eyes. The present starts to seep into the past, combining into a rolling swirl of colors. White marble fades to wood. The elegant tan stone of the floor fades to pieces of roof and sheetrock. The door, however, stays the same.

The present comes back with a crash, winding Olivia and knocking her to her knees.

Elliot drops into the hole and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Liv," he says softly, careful not to spook her. "Where'd you go?"

Olivia blinks quickly, fighting against the memory that threatens to take over her conscious. "New York," she whispers.

"When?"

"The first day."

"The library?" he asks. Olivia nods. "You can't keep going back there, Liv."

"I don't – not on purpose."

Elliot stands up and hoists himself out of the hole. "C'mon," he says, extending his hand for Olivia to grab. Olivia rolls her eyes and pulls herself out of the hole. "I'm sorry," she says.

"For what?"

"I just" – she shrugs – "I don't know what happened. One minute: I'm here and helping, and the next: I'm back in my apartment and the ground is shaking."

Elliot shrugs. "Don't worry about it."

They reach the camp and Olivia opens her tent expecting to see Alex and Olivia reading like she had left them. Instead, the tent is empty.

"That's what I need to tell you," Elliot says.

"What?" Olivia asks, panic flaring.

"Something happened to Alex."

.


	18. Chapter 17

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 17

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 17

_Exterior – Afternoon – Day 71_

"Something happened to Alex."

Once the initial panic subsides enough for her to think straight, adrenaline and pure fear mix and course through her veins. She is running blindly, searching for Alex in a world that is moving too quickly and too slowly at the same time.

She stumbles over an unseen root, tumbling face first to the ground. She puts her hands out quickly, catching herself before she collides with a tree. Pushing herself back up to her feet, she continues running. Elliot's tent slowly begins to swim into view.

The idea to separate the camps had been Elliot's. The reasoning had, truthfully, been flawless: keep one camp with minimal supplies close to the house. If there was an emergency, the camp could be evacuated to the second camp hidden deep in the forest.

The plan was foolproof, but now, as Olivia's feet pound hard against the frozen forest floor and her heart drums hard in her chest, she curses Elliot and his two-camp plan.

She reaches the camp and pulls away the sheet covering the opening of the tent. "What happened?" Olivia asks, looking from Alex to Kathy and then back to Alex again, her breath coming quickly.

"Mama," Oliver exclaims, jumping up and throwing his arms around Olivia's waist.

Olivia rubs Oliver's head absentmindedly. "Alright?" she asks, staring at Alex.

"Yes," Alex says, eyebrows knitting in confusion. "Are you?"

"Elliot said–"

"Elliot lied," Elliot says, finally arriving at the camp.

If looks could kill, the glare Olivia is fixing Elliot with would turn him to dust. "You lied?"

Elliot shrugs. "I had to get you here without ruining the surprise."

So you decided to tell me something happened to Alex? Did you really think that was a good idea?"

"Looking back on it" – Elliot rubs the back of his neck – "it doesn't seem very well thought out."

"No, it wasn't." Olivia scoffs. "You're an asshole, Elliot."

"Mama," Oliver says, stepping back and looking up at Olivia. He crosses his arms over his chest and fixes her with a look of utter disappointment. "You can't say bad words."

"I know, Olly," Olivia says, picking the boy up. He wraps his arms around her neck and hugs her tightly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be bad, Mama."

"I won't, baby."

"Can we have cake now?" Oliver asks, suddenly giddy with excitement.

Olivia laughs. "Cake?"

Oliver nods, grinning from ear to ear. "Mommy says we have cake 'cause it's your birthday."

Olivia sets Oliver on the ground and follows him into the tent. Sitting next to Alex, she pulls Oliver onto her lap. Elliot enters the tent last, pulling the sheet closed behind him. He takes his customary spot next to Kathy and kisses her cheek.

"We were going to wait until tonight," Alex says, "but Oliver was too excited."

Sitting in the middle of the group's semi-circle is a metal pan with six whoopie pies in it.

"They were in the fridge when we first got here," Kathy says. "They're a few days past their expiration date, but Alex and I couldn't find any mold. So, hopefully they'll taste just fine."

Eyes glistening, Olivia smiles. "This is too much. You guys didn't–"

"Don't," Alex says. "Just don't, Liv. It's your birthday; enjoy it. You've done so much for everyone else–"

"This should really be for Kathy," Olivia cuts in. "She's the one keeping us all alive."

"Enjoy your birthday, Liv," Kathy says with a smile. "You can find a way to thank me later."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "Kathy, c'mon."

"No, Liv" – Kathy shakes her head – "this is for you. You don't turn thirty-three every day."

"Kath–"

"Shut up, Benson," Elliot says, rolling his eyes, "and let's eat this cake before it grows mold."

"Cake time, Mama?" Oliver asks, leaning back on Olivia's lap so his head is on her shoulder.

"Yes, Olly," Alex answers, "it's cake time." She cuts each whoopie pie in half and hands everyone their own half, saving the rest for another time.

By the time Oliver finishes eating his piece, bits of chocolate cake and crème are smeared all over his face and Olivia's cheek. Alex looks at them and laughs, which prompts Olivia to lean over and smear crème on Alex's nose. As revenge, Alex wipes a line of crème down the center of Olivia's forehead. When Olivia tries to retaliate, Oliver stops her with a chocolate handprint to the side of her face.

Laughter ensues. It starts with Oliver's soft giggles, but both Alex and Olivia are quickly overcome with giggles, which then leads to full-on fits of laughter.

Elliot and Kathy watch with sad smiles adorning their lips. Kathy rests her head on Elliot's shoulder and Elliot wraps his arm around her shoulders. He links his free hand with hers.

"Tomorrow," he whispers against her temple. "I'll find the photo album tomorrow."

"I miss them," she whispers back, blinking against the tears stinging her eyes.

Elliot presses a kiss to his wife's temple. "Me too, Kathy. Me too."

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Night – Day 71_

Long after Oliver has fallen asleep, Alex and Olivia lie awake in the quiet of the night. Legs tangled with Olivia's, Alex drapes her arm over the other woman's stomach and kisses her neck.

Olivia shudders and whispers, "I've missed you."

"I've been right here," Alex says, pressing another kiss to Olivia's neck.

"I almost lost you."

"You saved me."

"Kathy saved you" – Olivia sighs – "I froze."

"Liv–"

"I froze, Alex. I froze. Kathy asked me what happened and I told her I didn't know."

Alex pushes herself to a sitting position and looks into Olivia's eyes. "You. Saved. Me," she says, punctuating each word with a tap on Olivia's chest. "_You_ saved me. Don't ever believe anything else."

"But Kathy–"

"Kathy fixed my injuries and for that I will be forever grateful, but you saved my life, Liv. You brought me back. _You _did." Alex lies back down, her head on Olivia's outstretched arm, and smiles toward the sky. "Elliot told me what you did on that first day."

Olivia glances over at Alex, her eyes tracing the other woman's barely visible outline. She smiles at the warmth she feels in her heart. "He did?"

"You're a hero, Liv."

"I was just doing my job."

"You're a hero," Alex says resolutely. "And I love you."

"I love you more," Olivia whispers. Closing her eyes, she drifts off into a restless slumber.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – New York Public Library, Midtown – Late Morning – Day of Impact_

Directly in front of her is the door to the children's reading room. She knows in her gut that survivors are in that room, perhaps hiding under the long purple table, sure that help is on its way, but her mind focuses solely on the door and the blood coating the face of it.

The ground begins to shake unexpectedly; Olivia loses her balance and falls to the ground with a soft thud. As the shaking intensifies, she lies flat on her stomach and uses her arms to pull her body to the safety of the nearest wooden table.

Lying there while she waits for the shaking to subside, Olivia begins to regret her decision to suit up and embark on this insane extraction mission.

The second the shaking subsides, Elliot's frantic voice crackles through the radio on her suit. "Liv? Liv, you there?"

"Yeah," Olivia responds, crawling out from underneath the table and standing up. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Good," Elliot says, sounding considerably more calm. "The rescue squad's gonna be here soon."

"Yeah?"

"You should come out. Let them handle it."

"No."

"It's not safe. The building could go any minute now."

"I can handle this, Elliot."

"You weren't trained for this, Liv."

"Protect and serve, El."

"What?"

"Protect and serve – that's what we were trained to do. And that's what I'm doing. I'm protecting."

"You're being an idiot."

Olivia chooses not to respond to that comment and continues on with her mission. She makes it to the door of the children's reading room before the shaking starts again. Not sparing a second thought to the blood, she opens the door and instantly notices the little girl in the corner.

Olivia crosses the room unsteadily and gathers the child in her arms. She stands in the doorway, Elliot's words still playing in her mind.

"I'm Olivia," she says. "I'm a police officer. What's your name?"

"Lily," the child says, holding tighter to Olivia. "I'm scared."

"I know, sweetie," Olivia says. "Listen, Lily, I'm gonna get you out of here, but first I have to ask you a couple questions. Okay?"

"Okay."

"How old are you, Lily?"

"Seven."

"Seven. Are you alone, honey?"

"Yeah."

"Where are your parents?"

"At work. We had a half day at school today so I came here."

Olivia nods. "Okay, Lily, I need you to do me a big favor. I need you to take my hat off my head and put it on your head. Can you do that?"

Lily. She takes the construction hat off Olivia's head and puts it on her own. "It's too big."

"I know, sweetie. You only have to wear it until I get you out of here. Are you ready?" Lily nods. "Then let's go."

Olivia holds Lily close to her body, doing her best to protect the girl from any falling debris. They reach the debris Olivia rappelled down unscathed. Olivia sets Lily on the ground and unfastens the harness from her extrication suit. She helps Lily into it and fastens the ropes to the buckles.

"My friend Elliot is going to help you get out of here. You ready?" Olivia asks.

"What about your hat?" Lily asks, reaching for the helmet on her head.

Olivia shakes her head. "You keep it." She presses the button on her radio and says, "You ready, El? Got a kid coming up to you."

"Roger that," Elliot says.

The slack of the rope tightens and Lily is lifted off the floor. She is pulled to the surface and unhooked by Elliot.

"You should come back up too, Liv," he says, throwing the harness down to her. "It's not–"

His words are cut off by a deep rumbling as the wall of debris dismantles itself. With nowhere to hide, Olivia watches as the remnants of the library rush toward her like an avalanche down a mountain.

When she comes to, the first thing she notices is that she can't move her left arm. The second thing she notices is her head feels like someone is splitting it open with an icepick.

_I'm dead,_ she thinks. _There's no way I survived that._ She shakes her head, immediately regretting the movement as another shooting pain rocks her body. _No, definitely not dead. There wouldn't be any pain if I was dead._

"Liv?" Elliot's voice comes through the radio, interrupting Olivia's inner monologue.

"I'm alive," Olivia says, using her right hand to press the button on the radio. "Just a little stuck."

"The front of the building collapsed."

"Is Lily okay?"

"She's fine. The rescue squad's here. They'll be down to get you in a minute."

"What are we going to tell Alex?"

"The truth?"

"Not a good idea."

"I think she'll just be glad you're alive."

"I told her I'd be careful."

"You were."

"I wasn't. I took my helmet off."

"You gave it to a child. A child you save. Alex will be proud of you."

"I'm gonna marry her, Elliot."

"I know you are, Liv."

"I'd really like to live to see that," Olivia says, her words starting to slur.

"The rescue squad's on their way down. Just hold on."

"I'll try," Olivia says.

That's when everything goes black.

The next time Olivia comes to, she is on a stretcher in an ambulance with her arm in a sling. She opens her eyes groggily and immediately slams them shut as the onslaught of flashing emergency lights makes the throbbing in her head worse. "What happened?"

"I was beginning to think you weren't gonna wake up, partner," Elliot says.

"More like hoping." Olivia smirks. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Does it sound like I remember?"

"No."

"So tell me what happened."

"What do you remember"

Olivia relaxes on the stretcher and sighs, thinking back over the day. "The little girl," she says. "Lily."

"What about her?"

"I found her. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. You were able to get her up to me before the front of the library collapsed. You were buried, but the rescue squad was able to get you out."

"What happened to me?"

"The paramedics think you hit your head and there's some bruising on your shoulder."

"Nothing serious?"

"They want to do some scans of your shoulder, but you'll have to wait until the power is restored."

"That's going to be a while, Detective Stabler," Inspector Battaglia says, standing outside the ambulance. "I just got word that an asteroid hit out west somewhere."

.


	19. Chapter 18

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 18

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 18

_Exterior – Late Night/Early Morning – Day 73/74_

Olivia wakes up to Oliver whimpering softly in his sleep. Curled up in the fetal position with his back to her, Oliver looks small and frail in his oversized winter jacket. His hands are curled into small fists and his forearms are almost pressed together over his abdomen. His head is bent so the top of his forehead is resting against his hands.

Olivia sits up and looks down at the sleeping boy. She knows the position he's in; she's seen it too many times before. It's protection and safety. It's comfort and hope. It's wishing and needing. It's _help me _and _leave me alone_. It's conflicting.

She places the palm of her hand on his back, rubbing slowly with just enough pressure for him to know he is okay. Gradually, his whimpering stops and his fists uncurl. His body stretches out and he rolls onto his back. Olivia watches the tension leave Oliver's body.

Oliver opens his eyes and smiles up at Olivia. "Mama?"

"I'm here," Olivia says, brushing Oliver's hair off his face.

"Mama," he says again, tears beginning to well-up in his eyes. He climbs into Olivia's lap and throws his arms around her neck, crying softly against her shoulder.

Olivia holds him tightly, whispering promises of safety and love into his ear. When his cries taper off into soft whimpers, Olivia loosens her hold on him and says, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Oliver stops whimpering and sniffles. Wiping his nose on Olivia, he says, "Yeah."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yeah."

"What was it about?"

"The bad guys."

"Which bad guys, Olly?"

"The ones that got Daddy. They were gonna get you and Mommy too." As new tears begin to fall, Oliver slings tightly to Olivia and cries against her neck.

Olivia rubs soothing circles on the boy's back. "We're right here, baby," she says. "Right here. The bad guys aren't going to get me or Mommy." She says it like a promise, like it's something reverent.

Oliver lets go and leans back to look into her eyes. "Promise, Mama?" he asks, looking so much older yet so much younger than his four years.

Olivia hesitates for a fraction of a second, her subconscious knowing making promises like that in this type of world is, putting it mildly, a disaster. "I will do everything in my power, Oliver, to keep you and your mommy safe."

Oliver nods, seeming to accept this answer. "Mama," he says, still looking at her seriously, "can you tell me a bedtime story?" At Olivia's nods, he crawls off her lap and lies down beside her, using Alex's right arm as a pillow.

Olivia pulls the wool blanket over the three of them and settles in beside Oliver. "Ready?"

"Yeah, Mama."

"Okay," Olivia says. "This is the story of Sir Oliver Cabot, the bravest knight in all the land. One day, Sir Oliver was travelling through the forest outside of his kingdom when he came across a little cabin. Sir Oliver, being the bravest knight in all the land, decided to go right up to that little cabin and knock on the door."

"Mama?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Is this a true story?"

"Kind of," Olivia says.

Oliver takes hold of Olivia's hand and draws on her palm with his gloved finger. His silence is long and Olivia feels as though she has said something that bothered him. "Mama," he says, "I'm not the most bravest."

"Olly–"

"I was real scared," Oliver says. "Mommy goed away and Daddy said she wasn't never gonna come back. And the bad guys got Daddy. I was all alone, Mama." Oliver stops playing with Olivia's hand and curls his hands into tiny fists. He rubs furiously at his eyes like he's trying to erase the memories. "I was so scared, Mama!"

"Oliver," Olivia says, stilling the boy's hands. "It's okay to be scared, baby. Even the bravest people get scared sometimes. The important things it to not let being scared stop you." She rolls onto her side and kisses the top of Oliver's head. "Do you understand?"

She feels Oliver nod against her. "Okay to be scared," he mumbles. "Mama?"

"Yeah?"

"How does the story end?"

Olivia smiles. "Queen Alex opened the door and Sir Oliver found the family he was looking for," she finishes lamely, noticing Oliver has already fallen asleep. She kisses the top of his head once more before rolling onto her back and falling asleep.

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Morning – Day 74_

Mid-morning sunlight streams in through the top of the tent, waking Alex ever-so-gently. She keeps her eyes closed, letting the sunlight wash over her and transport her back to a time when things were much simpler.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Living Room, Alex's Apartment – Morning – September 23, 2001_

Rain beats down against the windows in steady sheets. Alex stands in front of her floor-to-ceiling windows and looks out at the gloomy, grey, morning sky, relishing in the warmth radiating from the mug held tightly in her hands. She closes her eyes and raises the mug to her mouth, letting the aroma wash over her before she takes a sip. The heat from the liquid spreads throughout her body and Alex moans appreciatively.

A slight chuckle from behind her makes Alex turn around, her eyebrow already quirked and a smirk playing at her lips. "Problem, Detective?"

Olivia, in all of her sleep-tousled glory, smiles. "Yes, actually, there is."

Alex tilts her head and stares at Olivia confusedly, all signs of playful cockiness dissipated. "And that would be?"

Olivia smirks. "I woke up alone, Counselor."

"I'm sorry," Alex says, feigning innocence. "I didn't realize that was a problem."

"It is" – Olivia nods – "when I'm expecting a certain blond someone to be there when I wake up."

Alex shrugs her right shoulder. "Maybe she had something to do."

"Like?"

"Laundry."

Olivia takes a step forward. "Laundry?"

Alex nods. "Maybe she had to go to the food store."

Olivia takes another step forward. "The food store?"

Again, Alex nods. She can feel her palms starting to sweat and her heartbeat become erratic. She feels slightly light-headed, but keeps her eyes locked with Olivia's, almost daring Olivia to take another step forward. "Maybe she was planning to join you in bed again, but was distracted."

Olivia nods, her gaze shifting to Alex's mouth. She bites her bottom lip subconsciously and takes a final step forward, arriving directly in front of Alex. "Seems plausible," she whispers. She presses her lips to Alex's in a distracting kiss and takes the half-full mug from Alex's hands. Stepping back, she smirks. "Thanks."

Alex's eyes flutter open and she watches Olivia, completely aghast. "How could you?"

Olivia takes a tentative sip of the hot coffee and winks. "Good coffee."

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – Morning – Day 74_

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asks, her cold fingers sneaking underneath Alex's layers of clothing and tracing the edges of the gauze pad taped to Alex's abdomen.

Smiling to herself, Alex hums in approval. "You," she answers.

"Yeah?" Olivia kisses the corner of Alex's smiling lips. "What about me?"

"I love you," Alex whispers against Olivia's lips.

Olivia smiles. "And I you, my dear." She presses her lips to Alex's, reveling in the warmth and the innate sense of right she feels.

"Liv," Elliot's voice floats through the tent, shattering the bubble Alex and Olivia had made for themselves.

Olivia pulls away from Alex and sits up, looking murderous. She flashes a look of apology at Alex and pulls on her boots. Stepping out of the tent, she nearly collides with Elliot. "What?" she snaps.

Elliot puts his hands up defensively and takes a step back. "I have to tell you something."

When Olivia enters the tent a few minutes later, she looks considerably worse for wear. She sits on the blankets next to Alex and lets out a harsh breath. Running a hand through her short hair, she looks up at Alex and tries to figure out a better way to relay the news she was just given. Not finding one, she blurts it out: "There's a group headed out way; we have to leave."

.


	20. Chapter 19

Title: Welcome to the New Age Chapter 19

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see the prologue.

.

* * *

Chapter 19

_Exterior – Morning – Day 74_

An hour after the announcement is made, the sheets have been taken down, the bedding has been folded, and everything that is salvageable has been packed into the cart and split between knapsacks and backpacks.

Alex shifts uncomfortably as the strap of her knapsack presses against the stitches in her right shoulder. Each time she inhales, the pressure increases and her grimace deepens.

"You okay?" Olivia asks, slinging her knapsack over her shoulder.

Alex nods and fixes Olivia with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Yes," she says, "just a little sore."

"Do you need your painkillers?"

"No" – Alex shakes her head quickly – "no, I'm fine."

Olivia looks at Alex worriedly. "Are you sure? You look like you're in a lot of pain."

"I'm fine, Liv. I swear." Alex smiles again and looks around. "We need to get going; where are Elliot and Kathy?"

"We're here," Elliot says, walking up to Alex, Olivia, and Oliver with a map in his hands.

Alex looks at the map, her brow wrinkling in confusion. "Is that the same one?"

Elliot nods. "It was at the bottom of one of the bags."

The remaining color drains from Alex's face as memories from _that day_ flood her mind. Her body trembles and her pulse quickens.

"Alex," Olivia says, her hands gripping Alex's biceps. "Alex, come back." She looks into Alex's cloudy eyes and whispers, "Come back. It's okay, Alex. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Come back."

Alex's eyes slowly come into focus and her breathing begins to regulate. "I'm sorry," she says. "I'm sorry."

Olivia gives her a small smile. "It's okay, Alex," she says. "You've been through a lot; I'd be more concerned if things weren't affecting you."

Alex shakes her head and pushes the strap of the knapsack off her shoulder, unable to continue to stomach the pain radiating through her shoulder. "We should get going," she says. "Do you think it's safe to take the road?"

"We don't have much of a choice," Kathy says, looking pointedly at the cart.

"And leaving the cart isn't an option," Elliot says.

Olivia nods grimly. "We'll take the road; stay on high alert."

…

* * *

…

_Exterior – The Road – Mid-afternoon – Day 74_

The sun beats down hard against the black asphalt, bringing the temperature to just over freezing. Piles of snow begin to melt, leaving puddles in trenches along the side of the road.

They are headed east along Interstate 70 out of Zanesville, Ohio. Their progress is slowed by the myriad of injuries between the group and the need to be on their guard at all times.

Oliver sits in the cart, far too tired to continue walking. His muscles ache and his stomach clenches painfully. "Mommy," he says, breaking the silence that has fallen over the group for the last few hours.

Alex jumps slightly, her grip on the cart tightening. "Yeah, baby?" she asks once her initial panic subsides.

"I'm real hungry."

"Have one of the snacks in your bag."

Oliver pulls his bag into his lap and rummages through it. Finding an old protein bar, he scrunches up his nose in disgust, but hunger gets the best of him. He opens the packaging and takes a big bite.

"Slowly, Olly," Alex says. "You don't want to choke."

"I'm eating real slow, Mommy," Oliver says, his mouth full of protein bar.

Alex just laughs and rolls her eyes, glad to see the child still has a sense of humor in this deranged world.

…

* * *

…

_New Concord, Ohio – Night – Day 74_

By the time it is too dark to continue on, they have reached the city of New Concord, Ohio. They do not wander into the city, choosing, instead, to stay in an abandoned house close to the road.

After much bickering and reasoning, Elliot and Olivia go in first and systematically check each room, making sure the house is empty and secure. Alex, Kathy, and Oliver lie in the trench at the edge of the road and wait until they are given the all-clear.

The entire check takes fifteen minutes. When the check is finished, Olivia comes out and beckons for them to come inside.

The house is not impressive. Paint is flaking off the walls, furniture lies in pieces on the floor, useless remnants from inside the cabinets lay strewn over the countertops.

But it is a safe place to rest for the night and that is what matters.

…

* * *

…

_Interior – Early Morning – Day 75_

Alex is woken up by a noise coming from the kitchen before the sun is even out. Her heart hammers hard in her chest. She reaches out blindly for her glasses, finding them resting on her knapsack next to the head of the bed. She puts them on and sits up quietly, not wanting to alert the people just a few rooms away that the house is not empty.

She is suddenly grateful they had the foresight to bring the cart into the little backroom with them.

She walks carefully on the unfamiliar wooden floor, unsure of where the boards creek. She cracks open the door and tries to make out what is being said in the kitchen, but their hushed tones are inaudible from the spot she is in.

She carefully makes her way back to the bed and rests her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Olivia," she whispers. "Liv, there are people in the house."

The speed at which Olivia can wake up and jump out of bed will always surprise Alex. In nearly the time it takes Alex to blink, Olivia and Elliot are both out of bed and listening at the door.

"Pack up," Elliot whispers, addressing Alex and Kathy (who has just woken up).

They set to work quickly, packing up the few blankets and articles of clothing that are strewn about the room. Alex wakes Oliver and helps him into his layers.

The next series of events happens so quickly, Alex barely has time to breathe.

An explosion rumbles through the house, shredding the walls and throwing the group to the ground. Alex covers Oliver with her body, saving him from the shrapnel flying through the air.

Alex pushes herself to her feet uncoordinatedly and looks around the room…well, what's left of the room. Two walls are still standing; the majority of the house is nothing but a pile of debris.

"Alex," Olivia yells. "Alex, take Oliver and Kathy and get out of here."

Alex lifts Oliver into her arms and he wraps his arms tightly around her neck. "Not without you and Elliot," she yells back.

"Go! You don't have time to hang around. We'll catch up. Just go!"

She hesitates for a second, but Kathy grabs her arm and then they are running directionlessly as best as they can.

Back at the house, Olivia pulls herself free from the debris. "I'm getting real tired of this," she says to herself."

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AN: Sorry for the long wait. Big time jump in the next chapter. Also, the next chapter is the last one. Thanks for reading!


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